Asphalt
by NettieC
Summary: For Olivia a road trip with Elliot is the last thing she wants or needs. She needs time alone to come to terms with the trauma she's experienced. For Elliot the road trip is everything if he can help her. PLEASE NOTE THE WARNING FOR CHAPTER 10.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

Early Friday morning Elliot sat silently at his desk and watched his partner with concern. Olivia had been distant and distracted, since she returned from sick leave on Tuesday. He had tried to get her to talk to him, to gain any information but she gave him nothing. He had phoned Casey in the hope she would know something but she was none the wiser and so he was on his own.

Thinking all sorts of things, Elliot had finally cornered her Thursday afternoon in the locker room and begged her to tell him. Tears welled in his eyes as he pleaded with her to let him help her and when she wouldn't speak he pleaded with her to tell him she was alright but Olivia couldn't do that either. Instead she went with her stock standard reply of 'I'm fine, now drop it', before walking out leaving early.

Now, here she was in front of him again, her eyes darker than yesterday, showing her lack of sleep, yet again. She had consumed three cups of coffee in record time and was edgy and irritable with everyone, including him. Elliot knew he couldn't push her on the matter; he didn't want to take the risk of her running from him. He also knew he couldn't ignore it, something was seriously wrong and on the back of her taking sick leave, something she rarely did, he was scared she was ill…very ill.

Olivia glanced up from her paperwork and smiled sadly at his intense gaze. She knew he was worried, she knew he cared and she wanted to tell someone, just not him and not now. She would deal with it on her own, as always…it would just take some time. She knew if she could get through Friday, then the weekend would give her breathing space away from him and the watchful, sympathetic eyes of her colleagues.

Elliot sighed; she was hurting, hurting badly. It was in her eyes, the sparkle was gone, replaced by an innate sadness she just wouldn't explain. He smiled back, hoping it would coax some response from her but it didn't, she just continued with her work.

"You two, in here," Don Cragen called from his office door, Olivia and Elliot responded quickly, Don closing the door behind them.

"You spoke to Carla Williams last month, a witness in the Diane Neilson case," Don said, sitting down behind his desk.

"Yeah," Elliot said. "Wasn't much help, she was pretty vague about it."

"Seems to have come back to her," Don explained.

"Is she coming in?" Olivia asked, not really wanting to venture out of the precinct.

"No, you'll need to go to her." Don handed her the message slip.

"Rochester?" Olivia questioned. "We've got to go to Rochester?" Panic began to bubble up from her stomach.

"Got a problem with that, Detective?" questioned Cragen, staring at her.

"No, just a little far for a day trip, especially in the forecasted conditions," Olivia lied. It had to be 250 miles to Rochester at least. She knew they'd end up staying over, the snowy blast expected in the region guaranteeing a slow, strung out trip. There was no way she wanted to spend that length of time with anyone, let alone Elliot. She could tune out his care and concern during work hours when he was across the desk from her, or short trips in the squad car, but not for such an extended period of time.

"Already got that covered, twin share at the Strathallen Hotel in East Ave, Rochester for tonight, you should be back by lunch tomorrow," Cragen said, handing Elliot the reservation number.

Olivia sighed heavily, this was going to happen whether she wanted to or not. Tears began to well in her eyes; this was not going to be easy.

"I'm going home to pack a few things, pick me up when you're ready," she said, looking at no one. She was gone before Elliot could reply. He turned to look back at his boss.

"Any idea, El?" he asked, nodding towards the now vacant doorway.

Elliot shook his head. "None. She won't speak to me."

"I don't have to tell you I'm concerned about her. It's so unlike her to take leave and she really hasn't been herself," Don said, coming from behind the desk.

"I've tried to find out, she won't tell me," Elliot said sadly.

"See what you can do during this trip?" Don said, "and if you need more than tonight, take the time.' Elliot watched Don's eyes cloud over; he knew his boss had the same negative thoughts about Olivia's wellbeing.

"Thanks, Don."

Within the hour, Elliot had been home grabbed a few things and had parked out the front of Olivia's apartment. He clambered up the stairs and was just approaching her door when it opened and she came out, quickly pulling it closed behind her.

"ESP?" he asked, reaching out to grab her bag.

"Sorry?" she replied, having missed it.

"Do you have ESP? You opened the door before I'd knocked," he explained.

"Oh, yeah," she replied, without a smile. She wouldn't tell him she'd been watching for his arrival, wanting to make sure her apartment was closed and locked before he got there.

Elliot made a sweeping gesture for her to go on ahead and she smiled briefly. From his position two steps behind her on the staircase he noted a few bruises across the back of her neck, fingertip sized, the centre was still blue, with yellowing edges surrounding them. A sickening feeling engulfed him but he promised himself he wouldn't say anything - yet!

The initial part of the trip was fine. The traffic flowed reasonably well, considering it was early Friday afternoon and the conversation in the vehicle was solely related to the Diane Neilson case and the contents of the new witness testimony. They discussed and debated it but in the end simply conceded they'd have to wait until they spoke to Carla Williams.

By the time they hit the I-80, talking had waned. Olivia rested her head against the cold glass of the window. Hoping the chill would take away her dull, throbbing headache. The relief was fleeting. She closed her unbelievably tired eyes; her chocolate orbs dry and heavy. Despite praying the warm air blowing from the heater, the radio on low and the soothing movement of the car would lull her into slumber, she knew sleep would not come. The sandman hadn't paid her a decent visit since last Wednesday weekand as a result she hadn't slept for more than a few minutes at a time since.

Vaguely, she became aware of Elliot's voice. She couldn't make out what he was saying and didn't respond. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to speak to him about anything other the job. Elliot looked over at her, waiting for her answer. He knew she wasn't sleeping but wasn't surprised to see her head back and eyes closed. Taking the opportunity to steal a few more glances, he realised the bruising around the back of her neck started from a much bigger one at the base of her throat. Bile rose in his own throat as the shape made itself known; the shape of two hands, which undoubtedly had tried to strangle her.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he tried to compose himself. Elliot was utterly relieved she didn't have some serious, life threatening illness which he had begun to believe was what she was hiding. But he was utterly devastated that his partner and best friend had been attacked and not only hadn't he been there to protect her, she hadn't felt she could tell him. Between the opposing feelings was another; hatred towards whomever had done this. He vowed he would find out who and impart some of his own justice…he had a few friends he knew who would be more than willing to help out.

Elliot fixed his eyes on the long stretch of asphalt ahead of him, hoping the solid, grey road taking them to their destination would be long enough for him to discover the truth. Praying that when they travelled back along the same stretch of road he'd have his answers and Olivia would be able to smile again. It was a lot to ask of the asphalt.

Driving in near silence, Elliot let Olivia have her deception. He fought his overwhelming urge to reach out and just hold her hand. By the time he had gotten to the I-81, it was too much for him. Checking the traffic around them, he pulled into the service road and headed to Sam's Diner. Hoping for lunch, coffee and a chat, he parked the car and gently shook Olivia's arm.

"Liv, come on," he said quietly. Olivia's eyes blinked a few times as they adjusted to the light.

"Can't be there yet," she remarked, taking in the scenery.

"Nah, neither of us has had lunch yet. Come on in, my shout," he smiled climbing out of the car.

Olivia didn't want coffee; she had maxed out her caffeine intake that morning. She didn't want lunch either; though she really couldn't remember the last thing she ate. And she definitely didn't want to sit across from him in a small cosy booth and have him watch her, or worse, want to talk to her.

"El, I'm not…" she stopped, her words unheard by her partner as he shut his door. He made his way around to her and opened the door. She knew he wouldn't take no as an answer. Reluctantly she climbed out, shivering in the icy wind.

Wrapping her arms around herself she rubbed her arms for extra warmth. Elliot locked the car and looked at her. She had made no effort to move on her own accord and seemed to be mesmerised by something. He followed her gaze and found her staring at a black corvette parked a few spots away, it meant nothing to him but he stored the information, just in case. Placing a supportive hand on the small of her back they both startled when she flinched violently at the unexpected contact.

"Sorry, Olivia, didn't mean to scare you," he said soothingly, leaving his hand in place.

"My fault," she said quickly. "I was in my own little world." She shook her head to hide the tears bubbling just below the surface.

"You wanna let me into that world?" Elliot asked quietly, as he opened the diner door for her. She shook her head. "You just let me know if you change your mind, okay?" She gave him a half hearted smile, she wanted to tell him but she couldn't. Firstly, she wasn't sure he'd believe her and she didn't want him thinking anything less of her, but her deepest fear was he would take things into his own hands – that wouldn't help anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews for Chapter 1 - much appreciated._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

Lunch was an extremely uncomfortable affair. Elliot ordered a burger with fries, a chocolate milkshake and a coffee chaser and ate heartily. Olivia ordered a tuna melt and a bottle of still water and ate practically nothing. When the waitress came to clear the plates she stopped and looked at Olivia.

"Ma'am, something wrong with the melt?" she asked. 

"Oh, no, not at all, I wasn't as hungry as I thought," she replied. 

"Do you want to take it with you? I can bag it up," the waitress offer. Olivia shook her head but Elliot answered. "Yeah, that'll be great," he answered. "And can we also get two coffees to go, please?" 

"Make that one," Olivia corrected. "I'm fine with this." She indicated her half full water bottle. 

"No, make that two, and another water, thanks," Elliot said. 

�

When the waitress was back behind the counter, Olivia spoke. 

"El, I won't drink the coffee," she said wearily. 

"I know, it's for me. You're exhausted so I'm doing all the driving, figured I could use the extra shot of caffeine," he said, smiling at her. 

"I'm alright to drive if you want a …" she paused as a yawn overtook her…"rest." 

"You make a convincing argument, Liv, but no, I'll drive, thanks all the same." He smiled as the waitress put down the cups, bottle and then returned with the bagged tuna melt and check. Elliot grabbed his wallet covered the bill, and left a tip. 

"Thanks," said Olivia as he pocketed his wallet. 

"What for, you barely touched your food?" he replied, picking up the coffee cups as she picked up the bag and bottle. 

"Thanks all the same." She smiled tiredly, expecting him to continue the conversation, extremely glad when his response was simply, "Let's go." 

�

Olivia spent the next fifty miles staring at the scenery as it whizzed past her. She stared intently at the shapes and colours as a way to occupy her mind. It occurred to her after a while Elliot was being very quiet, which surprised her. She had expected a hundred and one questions and while she was relieved he wasn't pressing her began to think that maybe he didn't care as much as she thought he did. 

As he drained the now cold coffee in the second cup, Olivia surprised him by speaking. 

"How are the kids?" she asked quietly. He turned to look at her, to make sure he hadn't just imagined it. She smiled at him. 

"Kids are good, Liv," he replied. When she said nothing further he continued on his own accord. "Maureen has a new boyfriend, Steve, seems like a decent enough guy. Kathleen, she's doing alright as far as I know. She's not asked me for anything so I can only assume she's doing well. Dickie is playing ice hockey for the first time this season, already has a black eye to prove it and Lizzie is sailing along nicely – straight A's all the way. I'm sure she's going to outshine the lot of them." 

"That's good," Olivia replied, turning to stare back out the window.Elliot caught her movement. 

"What about you, Liv? How are things?" he asked cautiously. 

"Don't want to go there, El," she whispered. He sighed, at least she hadn't lied and said she was fine, that was something. 

"Okay," he replied, reaching out and taking her hand. "You know where to find me," he added, squeezing her hand. Olivia nodded but didn't look at him, he went to extract his hand but she moved hers and entwined their fingers. She couldn't explain it; she just needed to hold onto something more tangible than the overwhelming pain she was currently drowning in. 

�

Elliot, more than surprised by her action, didn't resist and didn't respond either. Thankful for the straight stretch of road and the easy drive, he was more than willing to hold her hand for as long as she wanted or needed. By the time he needed his hand to indicate and turn Olivia was genuinely asleep. She slept until he pulled onto the I-490, when he gently stroked her arm to wake her. 

"Liv, we're nearly there," he said quietly, glancing between her and the stretch of asphalt ahead. Deep in much needed slumber, she didn't stir, so he shook her gently. 

"Liv, Liv…" he called. She woke with a start, her eyes wide, her heart racing and her breathing irregular. "Liv, it's okay," Elliot soothed, going to stroke her arm again. He had barely made contact when she recoiled in the seat, drawing her arms away from him and up in front of her in what best could be described as a defensive position. Elliot glanced at her face; he knew she wasn't fully awake yet. "Liv, it's okay, you're fine," he added, using the same tone and manner he used when his kids had a nightmare. 

�

Slowly she regained her composure and dared to look at him; waiting for some comment but none came. 

"How long now?" Olivia asked, assuming that's why he woke her. 

"Not far," he replied. "Can you check the address for me?" 

Olivia grabbed the map and directed him to Carla Williams' home. Before they knocked on the door, Elliot looked at his partner and then took a deep breath, he wanted desperately to take away the pain he saw in her eyes but he knew he couldn't, instead he turned his attention to the job, something he could deal with. He knocked briskly. 

The door opened and their witness stood there. 

"Detectives, come on in," Carla said, stepping aside and allowing her visitors in. They moved into the sitting room. Olivia went and stood in front of the open fire, desperate to heat her perpetually cold body, it seemed nothing of late could keep her warm.

"Carla," Elliot began, "Captain Cragen sent us after your phone call to him yesterday. He said you had remembered something, is that correct?" 

"Um, yes…but…" she paused and Elliot cringed. He'd seen it a thousand times before, a witness changing their mind again. 

"Why don't you tell us why you called in the first place," Elliot said, hoping to get some information from her. 

"I…um…I saw more than I told you when you first spoke to me. I just didn't want to …well, you know get involved," Carla confessed. 

"We can appreciate that," he said, when Olivia made no attempt to contribute. "But for Diane's sake, you need to tell us what you remember." 

�

Carla thought about it again but decided she couldn't go through with it. Ringing Cragen had taken every bit of bravery she had left, now in the face of the two detectives she had lied to months ago, she couldn't break her silence. 

"I'm sorry you've wasted your time," Carla said, moving back to the door. Elliot handed her his card. 

"We're going to be in town til tomorrow," he said. "Call me." Carla nodded as Elliot and Olivia headed out in the falling snow. 

�

"Sorry El," Olivia said as they sat in the car, heading towards the Strathallen Hotel. 

"What for?" he asked. 

"I wasn't much help back there," she said. 

"Don't worry about it," he grinned. "You can be the silent partner." 

Olivia didn't return his smile, she didn't want to be the silent partner, she wanted to be able to do her goddamned job, hell, all she had to do was open her mouth. So she did, twice, but nothing came out.

Realising she was having immense difficulties with something; Elliot tried to help her out. 

"Liv, what is it you are trying to say?" he said quietly. 

"Nothing," she shrugged. 

"You sure," he said, stealing a glance at her. She nodded. "Alright then," he said, pulling the car into the hotel's crowded parking lot. "Looks like we got here just in time," Elliot noted as the heavier snowfall coated everything in a crisp white shell. 

�

Elliot stood at the check in counter for fifteen minutes, the last fourteen alone. They had come into the foyer and the combination of the overly warm air, lack of food and exhaustion, had Olivia turn a ghostly white before swooning. 

"Whoa Liv," he said, grabbing for her as she stumbled. "You okay?" 

"Mmmha," she replied, her head swirling. 

"Here, come sit," Elliot instructed, moving her to a nearby overstuffed armchair. 

Olivia moved with him and was soon seated and feeling a lot better. He grabbed her bottle of water from her bag and handed it to her. 

"How are you doing?" Elliot asked her, brushing her stray hairs back behind her ear. 

"Much better now," she replied, throwing him a smile. "Thanks." 

"You sit tight and I'll check us in," he said checking his watch. "Then we'll do something about dinner. You've had nothing all day…it'll make you feel better." 

�

�


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

Between a conference and people caught in Rochester due to the snow, Elliot was informed their twin share room was no longer available. The remaining rooms had only a king-sized bed and a fold out sofa bed, Elliot took one look at Olivia and decided it would be fine…she could have the bed; he wouldn't be sleeping much, not until he figured out exactly what had happened to her. 

Not wanting to break the news to her prematurely, Elliot waited until he swiped the card in the lock of the fifth floor room. 

"Liv, you take the bed, I'll take the sofa," he said, before she had a chance to speak. 

"No, it's fine, El…it's not as if I'm sleeping anyway…you take the bed, you have to sleep you're driving," she said quietly. She hadn't spent any time in a bed since…she shook her head, she wasn't going there. 

"We don't have to decide now," he said, throwing his bag down on the floor near the sofa. "It's nearly seven, let's go get some dinner." 

"I'm not really hungry, El, but don't let me stop you from going," she said. 

"Olivia," he said, standing right in front of her and taking her hands in his. "I am not going to make you do anything you don't want to but you haven't eaten all day and I would like to buy you dinner, or a snack or a Snickers bar or…" his voice trailed as he saw a small smile appear on her lips. 

"I'll come to dinner," Olivia said quietly, she had to give him an A for persistence. 

The hotel restaurant was crowded and noisy and Olivia was glad. The last thing she needed was a quiet, intimate dinner. She read the menu four times unable to decide on what she wanted. The permanent feeling of nausea in the pit of her stomach was still present and she knew she wouldn't eat much. She looked across at Elliot's earnest expression; she would try for his sake. 

The waiter came for their orders twice before she was ready. 

"Okay, I'm ready now," she said, smiling at the young man. "I'll have the entrée satay chicken on rice, thanks." 

"And for main?" he asked. 

"Oh no, that's all," Olivia replied. "El?" 

"I'll have the porterhouse steak, medium, thanks," said Elliot, returning the menu. 

"And will that be all?" he asked. 

"Yes, thank you," Elliot replied. 

They sat in awkward silence for awhile, Elliot more than happy Olivia had just agreed to come to dinner. Elliot answered his cell, the caller was Lizzie. 

"Hey, baby girl," Elliot said, a huge smile appearing on his face as he heard his daughter's voice. 

"Hi daddy, where are you?" Lizzie asked. 

"Liv and I are in Rochester talking to a witness, honey. Why?" Elliot asked. 

"No real reason. Thought if you were home I'd come and stay tonight, Dickie has some friends over and they are sooooo immature," Lizzie whined. 

"Sorry kiddo, boys are like that. You'll just have to grin and bear it," he said. 

"Yeah, I know…mom said as much," she sighed. "Hey dad, can I speak to Liv?" 

Elliot um-ed and ah-ed before placing his hand over the phone. "Liv, Lizzie wants to speak to you. Are you up to it?" he whispered. 

_No _was the answer which screamed in her head but she nodded and reached out for the cell. 

"Hey Lizzie," Olivia said trying hard to sound normal. 

"Hey Liv, how are you going?" Lizzie asked brightly. 

"Good thanks, sweetie," she replied. "You?" 

"I'm real good, I…" Lizzie rambled on and on only occasionally pausing for a response. Elliot watched Olivia closely; she was off in her own little world again. 

"Liv…Liv?" Lizzie said insistently. 

"Sorry Liz, what did you say?" Olivia apologised. 

"Nothing, doesn't matter," Lizzie said. "Olivia, are you okay?" 

"Yes honey, I'm fine," she lied, her eyes clouding over. Elliot reached out and took the cell. 

"Look, Liz, our meal's just arrived, we're going to have to go," Elliot said as he spied the waiter nearing them. 

"Daddy, is Liv okay?" Lizzie questioned. 

"Yes kiddo, she's okay," he replied, smiling at Olivia, they both knew it was a lie but for now it would remain their lie. 

"Okay – love you dad." 

"Love you, baby." 

Olivia looked at her plate in front of her. The two small sticks of chicken satay looked nice enough, if a bit inadequate for anyone who had an appetite. As it was, she was thankful for the small portions, thinking she may be able to consume enough to put Elliot's mind at ease. The first bite in and her plan was going to be a struggle, the taste in her mouth was fine, it was her stomach's response to the intrusion which wasn't. 

"Is it okay?" asked Elliot, watching her reaction. 

"Yeah, yours?" Olivia responded, a fake smile fixed in place. 

"Mine's great. You want to try some?" he asked offering her his fork with a small piece of steak speared on it. 

"No thanks." She shook her head. "This is fine." 

He watched as she forced down another few mouthfuls, the intense concentration on her face would have been laughable had the situation been any different. 

"Liv," he finally said, breaking the silence. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to." 

Olivia smiled thankfully at him, he was letting her off the hook and she knew it. She placed her knife and fork back onto the plate and took a long drink of water, hoping it would clear her throat. 

When Elliot had finished, he signed the check, having the cost assigned to the room. It was only 8:30 by the time they returned to their room. 

"I'm going to grab a shower," Elliot said, grabbing his bag. "Unless you…" 

"No, go ahead, take your time," Olivia replied, more than happy for the breathing space it would provide her. He had been the model of patience and concern and had not smothered her at all as she had been expected but she still felt she needed some time out. 

Being typically male, Elliot was in and out of the bathroom in under twenty minutes, no where near long enough for Olivia. 

"Bathroom's free," he said, towel drying his very short hair. 

"Good," she replied getting up from the sofa. "I might take a bath. You mind?" 

Elliot looked at the sofa and television in front of it, it was still switched off. He knew she'd been sitting there in silence. 

"Go ahead. I'm going to see what movies are available. Have any requests?" he asked. She shrugged and shook her head. "Okay, my choice then.' 

Olivia was in the bathroom for seventy three minutes, not that she would have been aware of it but Elliot was; he had counted every one of them. Twice he had walked to the bathroom door to speak to her but hadn't, he was going to give her the time she needed if it killed him. By the time she re-emerged dressed in sweats it was 10:15. 

Elliot was exhausted and knew he should just sleep but he didn't want to. 

"There's a choice of four movies," Elliot began, tossing Olivia the remote control. "Guide's on channel two." 

"I'm not really up for a movie, El, sorry," she said. "But you go ahead." 

"Are you sure?" he asked catching the remote as she tossed it back. 

'Sure, I've got a bit of a headache, I might just lie here on the sofa," Olivia said, resting her head on a cushion on the armrest. 

"Liv, you could take the bed, it's…" he began to offer but he noticed her expression change. "But if it's the sofa you want it's the sofa you get." He grabbed the throw rug from the back of the arm chair and placed it over her. "It's warm in here now but you might need it later," he said, in response to her confused expression as he approached. 

"Thanks," she whispered as she watched him sit down in the armchair and scroll through the channels. 

Not finding anything he really wanted to watch he switched it off and watched as Olivia's eyes opened. 

"Last chance to swap, Liv," he said, moving to the bed, she shook her head no. "You warm enough?" She nodded. "Night Liv." 

"Night El," she replied. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

Elliot lay in bed a long time, waiting for sounds to indicate Olivia had gone to sleep, they never came. Eventually he drifted off but found himself awake an hour later when a cold breeze danced across his face. He struggled to open his eyes and was surprised to see Olivia with the balcony door open watching nothing in particular.

"Olivia?" he called but she didn't respond. He got out of bed and went to her. "Liv," he said quietly trying not to startle her. She shuddered in response. "Hey, you're freezing," he said wrapping his arm around her drawing her to him and closing the door. She shivered again. 

He surrounded her with both arms, running them up and down her body to enhance the warming process. Expecting her to resist, he was surprised when she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He stood there holding her until she was ready to let go, that moment came too soon. 

"Sorry El, didn't mean to wake you," she said quietly, in the darkness of the room. "And make you cold." She gently rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

"That's okay," he said as she tried to move away from him but he kept hold of her arm. "Liv, don't go back to the sofa. It's much warmer in bed." 

She stood there, torn. She was freezing and she wanted to be in that bed with him but it would mean just that, she'd be in bed and with him, she didn't really want that…well, she did but she couldn't. Just as she was about to speak, Elliot did. "Please Liv, come to bed." 

She felt him tug her hand and allowed herself to be pulled towards him, she took a deep breath. She could do this. She could. It was just a bed and it was Elliot. She was safe with Elliot. She nodded. 

An hour later both were still awake, laying in the silence of the room, an occasional noise from outside breaking through the stillness. Olivia tried not to toss and turn but she couldn't help it. Elliot made sure he was as far away from her as he could but eventually it all became too much. 

"Olivia," he whispered quietly as she turned yet again, this time facing him. "You're safe here." He placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "It's okay." Olivia stilled, almost too frightened to move again. She felt the bed from his side move and knew he was moving closer. She cringed when she realised he was right in front of her. "Liv, open your eyes," he ordered softly. She did. 

"You don't need to talk to me, Liv," he whispered into the darkness. "But you can trust me. You're safe here," he added, stretching his arms out. Instinctively Olivia moved towards him and as he wrapped his arms around her, she rested her head on his chest. For the first time in a long time she allowed herself to breathe. Elliot was surprised, but pleased, when Olivia fell asleep quickly. He kissed the top of her head, adamant he was going to get her through this, whatever it was. 

Trusting she was genuinely asleep he allowed himself to relax and before long had drifted off too. It had not gone four when he awoke again, this timeto the feeling of being choked. He looked down and realised Olivia had a death grip on his t-shirt. Gently he tried to extract her fingers from his shirt. 

"No!" she muttered as she gripped tighter. Elliot stopped for a few minutes before trying again. "No! Don't!" she said, desperation clearly evident in those two words. Elliot stopped again. Without Elliot doing anything more, Olivia continued and Elliot instantly knew she wasn't talking to him. 

"Don't do it!" she said, her voice firm. Elliot rubbed her arm trying to soothe her. "Don't touch me!" she said louder, her grip tightening. 

"Liv, you've gotta let go," Elliot said quietly. 

"You bastard leave me alone!" Her nails dug into his chest, breakingthe skinand drawing blood. 

"Olivia, stop!" he said firmly, trying to extract himself and wake her. 

"No! No!' she yelled, slapping at his hands as they touched hers. He tried to hold her closer but she resisted hitting out at him. 

"Olivia! Wake up!" he yelled as her fist made contact with his lip, splitting it painfully. "Liv, Liv, wake up," he called again as her breathing became erratic and her words became a desperate plea for help. 

Her brain took its time to register his pleas but when it did her eyes sprung open and a flood of tears cascaded down her cheeks in panic. 

"Shh, shh, shh," he soothed, moving back to her and holding her tightly. "Shhh, you're okay, Livvy, you're okay, honey. Shhh." He reached across her to turn on the bedside lamp. 

Olivia took her time to try and compose herself and in time she forced herself to look up at him. The first thing she noted was the swollen, splitlip and the trail of blood down his chin. 

"Tell me I didn't do that," she cried, reaching up to touch his lip. 

"I've had worse," Elliot replied watching her eyes tear up again. "It's okay, Liv, really." 

"I'm so sorry, Elliot," she whispered, her hand still on his face. "I'm so, so sorry." She pulled back and went to get up. 

"No, Livvy, you're not going anywhere. Stay here," he said firmly, drawing her back to him. "Stay here with me. It's okay." She shook her head; she didn't want a repeat performance. "Then you stay in the bed, I'll go sleep on the sofa." 

Elliot swung his legs out and headed off to the bathroom to investigate the damage. One swollen and split lip, several grazes to his throat and chest – nothing he couldn't live with. He turned to leave only to see Olivia in the doorway. 

"Did I do all that?" she asked quietly, tears starting again. She bit her bottom lip to stop them. 

"Yeah," he answered just as quietly, there was no point lying to her. He flicked off the light. 

"I'm sorry, El, really I didn't…" she began. 

Elliot pressed his finger against her lips. "Enough of the apologies – it's okay." He took her hand and led her back to the bed. "We're going to try this again." He climbed into bed and opened his arms for her. She stood there not wanting to get in. 

"Elliot, I…" She paused. 

"Liv, it's four in the morning, it's cold, come to bed," he said, reaching for her hand. 

"I hurt you last time," Olivia said, dropping her head. "I don't want to…" 

"Olivia, you need to come to bed. Nothing else matters," he said, smiling as she neared the bed. 

"Are you sure?" she asked. 

"Look, I'll even put a pillow here to protect me if you want," he grinned. She returned his smile and he sighed in relief. 

Both lay on their own half of the bed, Olivia curled on her side, her hands tucked between her knees, desperate to prevent a repeat performance. Elliot lay on his back, wanting nothing more to hold her so she could sleep again – knowing why she wouldn't let him. It was of great surprise to him when he awoke to his ringing cell just after seven, that Olivia was still fast asleep and more so that she was asleep on his chest, wrapped in his arms. 

Reluctantly he shifted to answer his cell. 

"Stabler," he whispered. 

"El, it's Don. How are things?" Don said, weariness in his voice. 

"Williams didn't give us anything," he said quietly. 

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling. She phoned again last night from Strong Memorial Hospital, not sure of the details but she's changed her mind again," Don explained. "You guys right to go?" 

Elliot looked down at Olivia, she was still asleep and he didn't want to be the one to wake her. "We're good." 

"Have you been able to get Liv to talk?" Don asked. 

"Not quite but I've got enough to know she's not sick," Elliot whispered. 

"Well, that's something," he replied. "Keep in touch." 

Elliot slid out of bed and dressed. He made one feeble attempt to wake her and when that didn't work he left a note on the pillow beside her. He headed off to Strong Memorial alone to speak to their very reluctant witness. It surprised him Carla was very talkative when he arrived. 

He made his way to her room and pulled up the chair beside her. A small cut on her face and a bruise to her forehead, Carla looked otherwise okay. In fact she looked no worse than he did that morning. 

"What happened?" Elliot asked. 

"Went out to the grocery store last night and got sideswiped," she explained. "Car's a write-off." 

"Pretty bad conditions out there," Elliot offered. 

"Yeah, I thought I'd be okay but guess I was wrong,' she said sadly. 

"Anyone else hurt?" he asked. 

"Car didn't stop. Phoned my insurance company and they need the other car's details before they'll pay out," she said, shifting in the narrow bed. 

"No other witnesses?" asked Elliot, suddenly knowing what caused her change of mind. 

"Not that I know of, without the insurance I'm stuffed. Can't do my job without my car, can't get a car without the insurance payout," she said, straightening the sheet. 

"So, what does that have to do with me?" Elliot asked, wanting to wrap this up and get back to Olivia. 

"I figured it was karma – if I want a witness to help me, I have to help Diane Neilson," she sighed deeply. 

"Take your time and tell me what you know," he said, pen poised. 

It took Carla twenty minutes to give Elliot what they had been after for the last two months. She pointed the finger directly at Stewart Westerly and gave him the connection they had been after. Back at the hotel by 8:30, Elliot picked up coffee and pastries from the bakery across the road before heading up to the room. He smiled when he found Olivia was still asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

_Ignore spacing issues - it's the site not me._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

The aroma of coffee stirred Olivia from her sleep andshe was surprised she had slept so long. 

"What's on the agenda for today?" she yawned coming over to the sofa to join him. Elliot handed her the coffee and was pleased when she picked up a Danish without prompting. 

"Well, I've already done our work for the day," he grinned as she bit into the pastry. 

"You have?" she muttered, wiping some crumbs from her lips.

"Went to see Carla Williams in hospital and she fingered Stewart Westerly - gave us what we needed," Elliot said taking a sip of coffee. 

"What made her change her mind?" she asked surprised she had missed the whole thing. 

"She realised what goes around comes around," he replied, trying not to be so obvious as he stared at her.

"Karma can be a bitch," Olivia replied. 

"Yes it can," Elliot mumbled, knowing someone else was going to get theirs as soon as he found out who the bastard was. 

Studying Elliot intently as he drank his coffee, Olivia couldn't help but feel guilty each time the hot liquid ran over his split lip causing him to flinch. She didn't remember much about the dream, except it wasn't a good one and_ he_ had been in it again and she just wanted him to stop. The fact that bastard got away without a drop of blood spilt and the man in front of her, the one who would do anything for her didn't, made matters worse. 

"What's up, Liv? I got something on my face?" Elliot finally asked. Olivia shook her head sadly, her eyes fixed on his lips, he gave a small smile. "Ah, this…" he said, his finger gently running over the wound. "This is nothing but, if anyone asks, we'll say it was some big, burly guy. After all, I do have a reputation to protect." He grinned at his own comment but Olivia couldn't manage a smile. He reached out and patted her hand, "Honest, Liv, it's okay, we're good." He exhaled in relief when she finally smiled back. 

After the coffee was finished and the pastries gone, Olivia picked up the remnants and threw them in the trash. 

"Guess we'll be heading back to the city then," she said, not at all excited by the prospect.

"Um, not exactly," Elliot answered, awaiting her reaction. "Weather's really bad out there. Travel advisory says not to bother. I phoned Cragen and he says stay put." 

"Oh," was Olivia's simple reply. 

"That a problem?" he asked, as he watched her move to the bed. 

She shook her head, being here with him was better than being in her apartment, alone. She used to love her place and the peace and quiet it gave her, now she shuddered at the thought of having to return once the weather cleared. 

"Are you cold?" he asked, moving towards her. 

"No, I'm okay," she said, grabbing her sweater anyway. "So, I guess we're stuck here for a whilethen." 

"Yep, stuck here." 

To fill in time they headed off to the hotel's gym for a long work out session, Elliot needed to work out his festering anger at the person who had perpetrated the still unknown offence against his partner. Olivia just wanted to throw herself into some physical activity which required no thought. She was beyond thinking, her brain hurt from replaying events over and over again and from making sure her mouth didn't betray her. 

An hour and a half later, as Elliot stood by the water cooler taking in some much needed fluids he turned to watch Olivia on the punching bag, she had been there a while. He watched as her movements became more erratic and her expression shifted from working out to panic. Instead of laying firm and solid punches her arms began to flail and Elliot knew she was in trouble. 

"Olivia,' he called while making his way across the gym, "Liv!" But she never heard him, her concentration firmly placed on the bag in front of her. When he got close enough he realised the sweat on her face was mingled with tears. "Liv, Liv, stop!" he ordered firmly coming up beside her, she didn't respond. "Olivia!" He placed a gentle hand on her arm, causing her to startle and respond by throwing a punch in his direction. 

Weaving out of her way, he grabbed her arm on the follow through and her momentum saw him fall backwards, bringing her down with him. 

"Liv, stop!" he said again when he realised she was still flailing. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him making her stop immediately. He pressed her head to his chest and stroked her back to calm her. 

"Shh, Livvy, it's okay. Shhh!" he whispered into her ear as she sobbed into his chest. "Shhh!" He quickly scanned the gym and realised that while they had been alone for the most part there were people coming in. 

Gently he eased them up and hugged her a little longer. He grabbed his towel and dried her face before planting a kiss on her forehead. 

"Let's go up to the room," he said quietly as the newcomers walked by. Olivia went to move away but he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kept her tucked tight to him, she wasn't getting away from him that easily. 

The trip up to the fifth floor was in silence and it was Elliot who broke the silence upon entering the room. 

"You want to take the first shower?" he asked finally letting her go. She nodded briefly before heading in. Elliot dropped into the armchair and listened to the water start; he leaned back and closed his eyes wishing to god he could change what had happened. He listened to every sound she made, hoping she was alright, not daring to go in and check. 

In what seemed an eternity later the water was turned off and then there was nothing. Elliot looked around the room and spotted her bag, she'd forgotten to take it in. He went and retrieved it before knocking lightly on the door. She didn't answer. 

"Olivia, it's me, I've got your bag," he said quietly and waited for her to reply – it didn't come. "Liv?" He turned the knob and opened the door just a fraction. She didn't speak. Taking a deep breath he opened it a little further and found her wrapped in a towel sitting on the floor sobbing. 

"Hey," he soothed dropping down beside her, noting the bruises and scrapes over her neck and shoulders. He refrained from touching her, not knowing what she would or wouldn't cope with. 

"Hey," she replied, wiping the tears away. 

"I brought your bag in," he said stating the obvious. 

"Thanks," she mumbled, her eyes still fixed on the floor. 

"Need anything else?" he asked, desperate to do anything for her. To his surprise she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. 

"Stay a few minutes," she whispered. He turned and kissed her head. 

"Of course." 

A few minutes was all Olivia needed to compose herself. 

"I'm good now, thanks," she said trying to get to her feet without letting go of the towel. 

"Anytime," Elliot replied. He looked her over while she was looking in the mirror and made careful note of the wounds around her body, if Olivia had of reported this he'd have already heard about it but she hadn't and he needed all the evidence he could gather. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

_Ignore spacing issues - it's the site not me._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

Olivia emerged half an hour later looking fresh and composed, so Elliot ignored the earlier scene and headed to the bathroom. Showered, dried and dressed he was out in fifteen minutes and found Olivia sitting upright on the sofa, her body clearly tense and apprehensive.

"All done," he called before he came too close. 

"Great," she replied with a fake smile on her face. She watched Elliot intently wondering when he would bring up the topic of talking, really talking. She was surprised he'd taken this long. Twice she saw him open his mouth to talk only to pretend to cough. When he opened his mouth the third time, Olivia jumped in. 

'El, how about we go get some lunch?" she suggested before he made himself comfortable. 

"Sure," he replied pleased she was thinking about food. "Want to order room service?" 

"No," she answered quickly, she need to get out from the confines of the room. 

"Okay then, there's the hotel bistro, the bakery across the road and a diner down the road. It's snowing but I'm sure we could tough it out," he grinned. 

Olivia returned his grin. "The diner will be great." She moved swiftly to grab her jacket and purse before he could say anything else. It took five minutes to get out of the hotel and ten minutes to walk the hundred yards to the diner due to the slippery conditions. More than once Olivia grabbed onto Elliot to prevent a spill and he did the same but eventually they made it into the diner and were not surprised to be the only customers. 

A disinterested waitress watched them enter and take a corner booth. She sat watching the small television set behind the counter before she made her way over. 

"Afternoon ma'am, sir, what will it be?" she asked, pen poised. 

"Liv?" Elliot prompted, allowing her to go first. 

"Um…I'll have…" she paused and Elliot hoped she hadn't changed her mind about eating. "El, you go first." 

"I'll have Philly Cheesesteak with mushrooms and fries and a coke, thanks," he ordered. He watched as she dithered again and saw the waitress roll her eyes. _There goes your tip,_ he thought to himself. "Liv, why don't you try for the tuna melt again – I enjoyed yesterday's." He winked at her. 

"Okay, I'll take a tuna melt and black coffee," she said, closing the menu. 

"You want fries with that?" she asked coolly. 

"If I wanted them I'd have ordered them," Olivia replied in the same sarcastic manner as the waitress, Elliot just grinned; his Liv was still in there. 

The conversation, while waiting for their meals, could have been called small talk, except there wasn't enough of it. Elliot tapped on the table and Olivia played with the sugar sachets in the bowl. Aside from the cursory mention of the weather little else was said. For an empty diner, it seemed to take forever for their meals to arrive but when they did Elliot was glad for the distraction. 

"Must be better than yesterday's," Elliot commented nodding to the tuna melt after Olivia had taken three bites, two more than the last time. 

"Yeah, it is," she replied, glancing quickly at him. 

"Must have burnt up a lot of energy in the gym earlier," he remarked casually. 

"Yeah, could be that too," she acknowledged without looking at him. 

He watched as she ate the rest of the tuna melt and wiped her mouth with the napkin. He grinned widely when she stole a couple of fries from his plate. 

"Oh, is it okay?" she asked when she saw him smirk. 

"Since when have you ever asked?" he replied, she'd been stealing food from his plate since they began their partnership. She smiled and grabbed another few. 

Back in the hotel room before 2:00 PM there were few options to choose from. Olivia knew, given the chance, he'd want to talk and right now she wasn't up for it. 

"Lots of movies to choose from," she said holding up the guide. "What'll it be?" 

"Anything you like, Liv," he said, sitting near her on the sofa. 

"How about we start with Harry Potter?" Olivia suggested. 

"Harry Potter? Really? Wouldn't have thought you were a fan," Elliot chuckled. 

"It's the one I took Dickie and Lizzy to see, I just thought…" her voice trailed. 

"Liv, Harry it is." Elliot grabbed the remote and switched on the television. 

By the twenty minute mark Olivia was trying to stifle her yawns, while she had slept more overnight than in the last week combined she was still sleep deprived. Elliot gently eased his arm around her shoulders but stopped when she stiffened. Attempting to retract his arm before upsetting her further, he was surprised when she entwined her fingers with his still dangling over her shoulder. It took her several minutes to relax again but eventually she did, slumping back against him and relishing the safe, supportive feeling which engulfed her. Never once did she take her eyes away from the screen, trying to protect herself from looking into Elliot's eyes. Gradually her eyelids fluttered closed and her breathing evened out. 

When she did finally awake she was surprised to find his body beneath hers and both of them covered by the throw rug. 

"It's over already?" she mumbled watching the credits roll. When she didn't get a response she looked up to see Elliot's eyes closed. She went to extract herself but he held onto her. 

"Your movie finished three hours ago," he mumbled before his eyes finally opened. 

Olivia glanced from the screen to the clock and back. 

"7:30! I slept for five hours?" She rested her head on his chest again, before the realisation hit her. "You've stayed her the entire time?" She finally looked up at him. 

"Yep," he said quietly. 

"You should have just woken me up, I'd have…" she began but she knew had it not been for Elliot she wouldn't have had any sleep at all. 

"I'm fine here, I can watch movies from this angle too," he smiled and she relaxed. 

He raked his fingers through her hair and felt her relax back into his chest. Now was going to be the time, this was it…time to press the issue. 

"Liv," he began quietly. "You know you're safe here, don't you?" He felt her nod. "And you know whenever you want to talk I'm here for you, don't you?" she nodded again. "I don't want to pressure you but now is as good a time as any…" His voice trailed, an invitation for her to continue. She fought her instincts which told her to get up and flee and instead brought up her hand and placed it between her cheek and his chest. 

"I'm surprised you've waited this long," she said quietly. She waited for a response but it came only in the form of his fingers playing through her hair. "You've probably figured it out, so I guess there's not much else to say." She didn't want to go there, and was hoping he'd just go with her – she was wrong. 

"So, this happened last Wednesday week?" he asked, his hands continuing through her hair. 

"Aha," she said quietly. 

"I phoned you that night, why didn't you tell me I would have come straight over?" She said nothing; she couldn't let him know it was his phone call which triggered things. "Liv?" 

She shook her head; some details could wait til later. 

"I went out to dinner with …um…somebody who I've seen a couple of times…" she paused, she hadn't told him she was seeing anyone. 

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone," he commented. 

"It wasn't serious, that was only the third time. I'm surprised Fin didn't tell you," she mumbled. 

"Fin? You told him?" Elliot tried to sound casual, wondering why she'd tell Fin and not him. 

"No, we ran into him at the restaurant…he said he wouldn't say anything, I just thought he probably would." She stopped for a while and played with a button on his shirt. Elliot made a mental note to call Fin as soon as he was able. 

"And we went back to my place…he wanted to fool around and I didn't and it got a bit out of hand," she admitted quietly. He waited for a few moments for her to continue but she didn't. 

"Liv, what is it you're not telling me? You have bruising everywhere, including around your throat. That's not a 'bit out of hand'," he said as his stomach churned. He felt her shake her head and then felt the warm splash of her tears onto his shirt. Kissing the top of her head he whispered to her. "Olivia, just take a deep breath and tell me." 

"I can't, not now," she said getting up and shaking herself in the hope of dislodging all the negatives surrounding her. "How about we get go and get some dinner?" 

"We can order room service, we don't need to go anywhere," Elliot said not moving from the sofa. 

"Then I'll go by myself," she said, jamming her feet into her shoes and grabbing her sweater. Elliot grabbed her hand as she walked passed. 

"Olivia…" he began. 

"Please, no Elliot, I can't…" She blinked back her tears and Elliot conceded immediately. 

"Okay, then wait for me I'm hungry too." 


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

_Ignore spacing issues - it's the site not me._

**-------------------Asphalt--------------------**

The bistro was crowded with the hotel guests not able to venture far beyond the snowbound street. The lights were dimmed and a three piece band sat on a small stage playing unobtrusively. As they waited to be seated Olivia scanned the menu posted nearby. There was nothing she wanted, she wasn't hungry in the least but knew she had to keep up the pretence or it would be back to the hotel room and questions from her partner, questions she wasn't ready to face and answers she may never be able to give.

"See anything you like?" Elliot asked as he watched her study the menu with intense interest, she had shaken her head before she could stop herself.

"Um…it all looks good," she lied, her stomach churning at the thought of incoming food.

"Well, I can't decide between the spaghetti marinara and the beef stroganoff," Elliot replied, "Haven't had either in so long." Before Olivia could speak the waitress came over and led them to a cosy table for two in the middle of the bistro.

"I'm Alice," said the waitress once both were seated. "I'll give you a few minutes…"

"No, we're right to order," Olivia replied surprising them both. "He'll have the beef stroganoff and I'll have the spaghetti marinara."

"And to drink?" Alice asked, looking at Elliot.

"A bottle of your house wine," Olivia answered.

"Won't be long," said Alice as she departed.

Olivia caught the look on Elliot's face. "I'm sorry, you didn't change your mind did you?" she asked worried.

"No, I didn't," he replied. "Just wondered why you ordered the marinara."

"You can have it if you like," she offered. "I'm not really that hungry anymore and figured if you were going to have both meals it may as well be what you wanted."

The waitress returned with the wine and poured glasses for both of them, Olivia had hers gone and was half through the second as Elliot watched on with some concern. Each time she raised her glass her hands shook just a little, when it happened for the fourth time he couldn't help himself. He reached across the table and placed his hands over his. "It's okay, Liv."

She replaced the near empty glass and allowed his hands to hold hers; she couldn't bear to look at him so stared at their hands instead. Slowly he began using his thumbs to draw circles on the back of her hands.

"It's okay, Liv," he repeated soothingly. He saw the tension ease from her body and smiled at this small achievement. "We can talk about anything but…okay?" She nodded, relief evident on her face.

"Thank you," she mumbled.

"So, you want to talk sports?" he grinned, knowing it was low on her likes list.

"Sure," she replied, anything being better than the other topic they weren't discussing. "So, how are the Yankees going?"

"Yankees? Liv, it's winter, they don't play this time of year," he smiled.

"Oh!" She looked disappointed in herself and it didn't escape his notice.

"What?" he asked, keeping hold of her hands. She shook her head. "Liv, not knowing when the Yankees are playing is not the end of the world, you know?" She nodded sadly, feeling she couldn't do anything right.

"Hey," Elliot said brightly as couples got up to dance. "Come dance with me?" She shook her head. "It's either dance or talk." She was on her feet instantly. Within a minute she was in his arms on the dance floor, more than happy to have little space and no communication between them. She felt his hands holding her tightly and although she tried not to she felt herself pressing closer and closer to him. This was where she felt safe and protected, she knew she shouldn't feel this way, she should be more than capable in dealing with this by herself but nearly 300 miles from home she allowed herself the luxury of his arms.

Three songs later they were back at their table, Elliot was tucking into the stroganoff and Olivia chasing the pasta around her bowl in an attempt to pretend she was eating. Although Elliot didn't mention it he watched and counted as she washed down three mouthfuls of spaghetti with two glasses of wine. In the end, Elliot had his dinner and half of Olivia's and she stayed with the three mouthfuls she'd already consumed of her own meal and one forkful of Elliot's stroganoff, he had all but begged her to try.

Once Elliot had finished she took his hand and led him back to the dance floor. The heat of the room, combined with the alcohol in her veins and the lack of food in her stomach created an overwhelming swirl in her head. She wrapped her arms around him and prayed he wouldn't talk to her. Regardless of the song's tempo, Olivia's movements didn't change; their dance being something between a slow dance and her desperately clinging to him.

Twice he tried to talk to her, to move back and make eye contact; both times he failed as she buried her head in his chest. When he tried a third time Olivia did the only thing she could think of she kissed him. Longing for the dismal mess inside her head and her heart to disappear, and to feel something aside from pain she captured his lips and kissed him. Stunned, Elliot did the only thing his body would allow and that was to kiss her back, that was until his senses kicked in and he broke away.

"No, Liv," he said breathlessly. "Stop!" His split lip throbbing from the force of the kiss.

Preferring his lips on hers than moving any other way she tried to kiss him again but he firmly held her back.

"No, Liv," he repeated. Quickly she tried to blink back her tears. She looked up into his face so full of concern and they spilled over.

"Oh god!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry, so sorry." Flailing her arms she broke free from his grip. "Sorry, sorry," she mumbled as she ran from him and across the bistro. Elliot tried to follow but knocked into a waiter, sending him flying. By the time he had ensured there was no damage Olivia was long gone.

Impatient for the elevator he ran up the stairs and was frustrated when he found Olivia had not returned to the room. He waited in the room in case she was still making her way up but twenty minutes later, after nearly wearing out the soles of his shoes pacing and throwing, rather smashing to pieces, several items which had the misfortune of being in his path, she still hadn't arrived. Elliot set out to look for her hoping she wouldn't do anything to harm herself in her current state. Usually he'd trust her not to leave the hotel in the stormy conditions but at the moment he seemed to know very little about her, or him, or them. He did a quick outside check and asked the concierge if he'd seen her. He hadn't and Elliot took that as a good sign, she was still somewhere within the confines of the hotel, she would be warm and relatively safe. It was a small comfort to him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

_Ignore spacing issues - it's the site not me._

**--Asphalt--**

After thirty minutes of checking all the public areas of the hotel, Elliot returned to the room hoping she had returned in his absence, she had. He opened the hotel room door and noticed the balcony door was also opened. Looking outside he saw her sitting on the snow covered concrete leaning against the wall. He sat inside the room, leaning against the door jamb.

"Hey, Livvy," he said quietly. "Glad you came back."

"Mmmhuh," she replied, tears evident in the guttural sound.

"You want to come inside?" he asked, reaching for her arm.

"Nope," she whispered. She flinched as his hand touched her near frozen arm.

"God, Liv, you're freezing!" He jumped up and moved to her. "Come inside," he said, holding out his hands for her but she shook her head. "Liv, come inside!" he growled loudly, frustrated with her and everything about this situation.

"No!" she replied in the same manner.

Without listening to her protests he scooped her up from the balcony and carried her into the room, shutting the door behind them. Olivia thrashed in distress; distress about Elliot not listening to her and more distress at him manhandling. Her thrashing caused him to put her down on the floor near the foot of the bed. Instead of releasing him as he expected, she pulled tighter to him mumbling sorry over and over again.

Dragging him with her as she collapsed onto the floor, she cried and begged his forgiveness. Elliot could do nothing to placate her, so he pulled her into his lap and spent the next ten minutes running his hands around her body in an attempt to warm her up. It failed. As her crying subsided it became evident her trembling was due more to the cold than her emotions.

"You need to have a shower and warm up," he whispered kissing her forehead, the warmth of his lips made her shudder.

After it was evident she was going nowhere of her own accord, he scrambled to stand them both up and walked her into the bathroom. Absolutely exhausted, she sat on the edge of the tub as he turned on the water. Too tired to think for herself, too ashamed to even look at him, too cold to get her hands to work properly she sat there.

"Olivia, the water's right now," Elliot said gently, running his hand through her hair. Olivia didn't respond. He knelt down and removed her shoes and socks. "Liv, you need to have a shower to warm up." She looked up at him, fresh tears evident in her red, swollen eyes. She shuddered again. It broke his heart to see her in this state.

Elliot toed off his shoes, threw his wallet and watch on the vanity and stepped into the tub fully clothed. Taking Olivia's hand he gently encouraged her to come in with him, smiling when she did. Despite her initial reluctance to be touched, the week took it's toll and she welcomed the support of his strong body as her legs gave way amid the pulsating hot water, the tendrils of steam and his tender caresses.

Slumped in the tub Elliot never once let her go. He knew she was talking to him but she was talking so quietly it was lost in the drumming waterfall.

"Hey, Livvy." He raised her head up. "You don't have anything to apologise for," he said as he watched her mouth form the word sorry over and over again.

"I do," she replied. "I should never have kissed you, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Liv, really it is," he replied and he wasn't kidding, circumstances being different he would have been more than happy with the kiss.

"No, I should never have…I mean…just because…no…" her voice trailed. He ran his fingers through her sodden locks and brought her head to his chest.

"Tell me why you did it?" he said gently.

"I just wanted to … god, I wanted to feel something…something more than this stupid mess which is my life. I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to feel good about something, I wanted to feel that someone actually wanted me because they loved me not just because they gave birth to me or wanted sex or whatever, just wanted… wanted…me, something I've never had." She sobbed into his chest but no tears came, they were long gone.

"Livvy," he whispered as he kissed her head. "You've got to stop wanting what you already have. You have someone who loves you – Me!" When she failed to respond he continued. "Did you hear me, Livvy? I love you." Olivia didn't move from her position but raised a hand to grab onto his shirt and then she sobbed some more, this time with freshly discovered tears.

No more words were spoken as they sat entwined in the tub, when Olivia was warm enough Elliot reached up and turned off the spray before climbing out. He stretched out his hand and helped Olivia out too. Grabbing two towels from the rack he threw one over his shoulder and gave the other to Olivia.

"I'll get dried and changed out there, okay?" he said, opening the door. "I'll just get your bag for you." Olivia nodded. Elliot retrieved her bag before changing into dry boxers and a beater, thankful he'd brought some extras with him.

"You okay, Liv?" he called out when she hadn't come out ten minutes later.

"Um…yeah," she called back unconvincingly. He made his way to the bathroom door.

"You need something?" He rapped softly on the door.

"Oh god!" He heard her mutter.

"Liv? I'm coming in!" he called, turning the knob.

"No!" she shouted and he stopped instantly.

"Olivia, talk to me, please," he begged, fighting hard against every instinct to open the door.

"It's nothing," she replied, though her frantic movements told a different story.

"Liv, what's wrong?" he asked. He pressed his ear on the door and heard a range of sighs and sobs. "I'm coming in!"

"NO!" she screamed. "DON'T!" He could hear her trying to calm herself. "Elliot, I'm okay…I just can't find anything to wear."

Elliot searched through his bag, pulled out an oversized blue Nike t-shirt and cautiously passed it through the slightly opened door.

"Here you go, Liv," he said quietly, shutting the door after she took it. He smiled broadly when she walked out wearing it. "Looks better on you than me," he smiled.

"Thanks," she mouthed.

Silently he watched as she crossed the room and climbed into the bed, she squished the pillows until she was happy with them then laid on her side, facing into the middle of the bed. Elliot flicked off the bathroom light, then the room light, leaving only the soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminating the room. He did other menial things, all designed to look busy while she settled. Before long she sat up again.

"El?" she said quietly. "You are going to sleep here with me, aren't you?"

"Is that alright with you?" he replied, trying hard to conceal his smile. She nodded. "I promise I won't kiss you again," she said, lowering her eyes in shame.

"What if I don't want you to make that promise?" he asked, sliding into bed and edging closer too her.

Olivia looked up at him confused until the meaning became clear. "Oh!"

"And just so you know, I'm not promising I won't kiss you," he said leaning forward to kiss her forehead. He was surprised at how her skin had changed from icy cold to fiery hot. Like a concerned parent he placed the back of his hand on her forehead. "Liv, I think you're running a temperature."

She sighed deeply. "I think you're right. Might have got a cold from those two trips out in the snow." Elliot crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom quickly returning with a glass of water and a couple of aspirins.

"Here," he said, handing them over. She downed them, taking her time so she wouldn't gag on them. "And here," he added, retrieving a chocolate bar from his bar.

"My favourite," she said quietly.

"I know…eat up," he instructed.

"I'm not really…" she began but he cut her off.

"I know but you shouldn't take aspirin on an empty stomach. You don't have to eat the whole thing, how about we go fifty – fifty?" he said, climbing back into bed.

Olivia nodded and took the first bite offering it to Elliot who took the smallest bite possible, the same happened with the second and third bites before it was gone.

"I think I ate more than my share," Olivia said as she lay down and pulled the covers up over her.

"That's okay, I'm watching my figure anyway," Elliot chuckled. When Olivia joined in laughing, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, happy to know this ordeal hadn't taken away her humour altogether.

Silence ensued as they both lay there in the quietness of the hotel room. Elliot was desperate to talk to her, to make sure she realised his declaration in the bathtub was not just a throw away line but that he really was in love her, had been for a long time. However, try as he may he didn't quite know how to broach the subject, by the time he had rehearsed his opening line ten times she was asleep. Elliot didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Sleep was fitful and fleeting for both, Elliot only allowed himself to drift away when he was sure Olivia was properly asleep. The moment he succumbed to the sandman, Olivia was awake and out of bed to use the bathroom.

"You okay?" he murmured as she crawled back in beside him.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Go back to sleep."

As soon as she settled again, Elliot drifted off only to be woken some time later by another bathroom trip, and another one and another one. The second and third time, Elliot waited patiently for her to return and despite the increasing lengths of her absences she did return. The fourth time he waited and waited to no avail. Eventually he got up and went to the bathroom.

"Liv," he said quietly knocking on the door. "You okay?" He got no reply so he repeated the question. Getting no reply the second time, he eased open the door and got the fright of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

_Thanks for the amazing reviews - much appreciated._

_Ignore spacing issues - it's the site not me._

**_Laura...what would I do without you?_**

**--Asphalt--**

**This is how we left chapter 8 (I'm sure you remember)**

Sleep was fitful and fleeting for both, Elliot only allowed himself to drift away when he was sure Olivia was properly asleep. The moment he succumbed to the sandman, Olivia was awake and out of bed to use the bathroom.

"You okay?" he murmured as she crawled back in beside him.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Go back to sleep."

As soon as she settled again, Elliot drifted off only to be woken some time later by another bathroom trip, and another one and another one. The second and third time, Elliot waited patiently for her to return and despite the increasing lengths of her absences she did return. The fourth time he waited and waited to no avail. Eventually he got up and went to the bathroom.

"Liv," he said quietly knocking on the door. "You okay?" He got no reply so he repeated the question. Getting no reply the second time, he eased open the door and got the fright of his life.

**Chapter 9**

Olivia lay spawled across the cold bathroom tiles, her eyes closed and her t-shirt caught up showing her lavender panties and much of her back, bruises and scratches included in the view. Instantly Elliot dropped to his knees, noting her searing temperature before his hand even touch her skin. He shook her.

"Livvy, Livvy, wake up?" There was no response and he frantically felt for a pulse, she whimpered and Elliot took it as a good sign.

Throwing on his sweats before wrapping her in the throw rug, he scooped her up and raced down to the car, making his second trip to Strong Memorial for the day.

Elliot sat in the hard plastic chairs in the waiting room while Olivia was being assessed. He stared at the wall clock until he couldn't keep his eyes open, then he dropped his head into his hands and wondered what was taking so long. Frustrated by everything about this whole situation and by not knowing what the actual situation was, he began pacing the floor.

He knew she'd been assaulted but whether she'd actually been raped he wasn't sure. The thought of someone touching her in any manner against her will had his blood boiling. He slammed his fist into the noticeboard sending paper flying. Not finding that satisfying he kicked the small bin across the room, that didn't help either.

Leaning back against the wall he bounced his head off the cold tiles again and again and again, each time a little harder. He wasn't used to being calm and composed. Wasn't used to having to control everything he said and did. Knowing he couldn't do anything for her right now, knowing he needed something to be happening before he completely lost his mind he tried to figure out what to do. He looked over at the old man who had been sleeping on the bench at the far end of the room. The banging and kicking had no doubt woken him and he stared up at Elliot with a mix of fear and curiosity. Elliot glared at him, every urge in his body told him to take the nine steps over to the stranger and hit him ... for no other reason than to release the pent up aggression which was threatening to overwhelm him.

A nurse came into the waiting room and collected the old man, leaving Elliot alone. He slammed his fist into the board again before slumping into the chair below it. He closed his eyes and imagined Olivia being happy and wrapped in his arms ... the thought alone made him smile and he could feel some of the tension drain from his body.

Another glance at the clock told him it wasn't yet five, realising he didn't have his cell; he headed to the nurses station and called Don. It didn't surprise him when his boss' voice was croaky and sleep-filled.

"Cragen," he mumbled down the line. Elliot drew in a deep breath, he didn't really know what to say, he just had the overwhelming need to talk to the man who was more than just his boss. "Cragen!" he repeated.

"Don, it's Elliot," he said, his voice wavering.

"It's 4:43 in the fricken morning, El…what…" his voice trailed as he heard the heavy breathing coming down the line. "Elliot, what's wrong?"

"Sorry, it's so early," he replied.

"Don't worry about it," he answered his voice clear and alert. "What's wrong?"

"I'm at Strong Memorial…" his voice trailed, as he tried to compose himself against the undercurrent of fear running through him.

"Speak to me, Elliot," Don said urgency in his voice.

"Um, I just brought Liv in, she's unconscious…" he began.

"You said she wasn't sick," Don interrupted.

"She's not…I mean she is at the moment but she wasn't before now…that wasn't the problem before…" he rambled.

"Elliot, what's wrong with her right now?" Don demanded.

"Think it's an infection, she's running an extreme temperature…she um…she passed out on the bathroom floor," he explained.

"What are the doctors saying?" Don asked.

"Nothing yet…she's been in there for an hour and nobody's said anything…god," he sighed.

"You okay, Elliot?" he asked, concerned that one of the toughest people he knew was sounding so broken.

"Yeah…" he said.

"Not convinced about that response, El?" he said.

"Look, I'll be a hell of a lot better when I know something," he replied, running his hand over his weary face.

Don paused and waited for him to collect his thoughts.

"What was the problem before this?" Don asked, not sure he wanted to hear the details.

"She hasn't said exactly," Elliot began, contemplating how much to tell him.

"Elliot, what happened to Olivia?" Don said slowly and carefully, so Elliot could make no mistake at all. "Or what do you think happened?"

"I um…I think she was raped," he said quietly.

"WHAT?" The voice was so loud Elliot had to move the receiver away. "Who the hell did it?"

"Liv's not saying but Fin should know, she said he saw them out on a date a couple of weeks ago. I've tried to ring him and …"Elliot began.

"He's on an undercover job," Don interrupted.

"That explains it," Elliot sighed.

"You don't worry about anything but taking care of Olivia, you hear me? I'll get hold of Fin and take care of things at this end." Don was determined. "You hear me, El?"

"Yeah," he replied quietly, the lack of sleep, pain he was feeling for Olivia and his own emotions draining him.

"Elliot, is there something you're not telling me?" he asked, his nerves being stretched. Elliot sighed, there was something, a big something, he was in love with Olivia and what's more he had told her. This was something their boss needed to know, preferably sooner rather than later. "El?"

"Sorry, Don, no…just tired I guess," he lied, hoping his boss would buy it. "The doctor's coming I've got to go."

"Call me!" echoed down the line as he replaced the receiver.

"Detective, come through and we'll have a chat," said Dr Woodbridge, gesturing towards the break room behind the nurses' station. Elliot walked in and sat at the table and waited for the doctor to follow.

"Firstly I apologise for having you wait so long, with the weather we're short of staff," he apologised. Elliot nodded wanting him to get to the point. "And secondly, your partner's circumstances required more than the usual assessment."

"Circumstances?" Elliot questioned.

"When you brought Olivia in you said she had passed out but had only been running a temperature for a few hours," the doctor commented.

"That's right, why?" Elliot asked.

"Olivia is suffering from a severe infection…initially I thought being exposed to the extreme cold on the two occasions you explained could have resulted in a respiratory infection but her lungs were clear and she hasn't been coughing, has she?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No she hasn't," he agreed.

"Now, you also said she had been assaulted last week, but you didn't specify anything other than the bruises and grazes around her throat and chest and on her back…" the doctor paused.

"They were the only ones I knew about! Look, Dr Woodbridge, what's wrong with her?" Elliot asked, his patience expired.

"I believe Olivia is experiencing a few separate problems which have resulted in her current condition. Her severe infection probably had its origins in one of the bite marks on her breast…"

"She was bitten!" Elliot jumped up from his seat. "Can I see her?"

"No, Elliot…" The doctor reached out and held his arm, gently bringing him back to the chair. "From what I can determine she sought treatment for her injuries close to the time of her attack. She would have been put on antibiotics and that should have cleared the infection. Either she didn't take them or weren't strong enough. It's possible her body fought the infection but coupled with her exposure to the cold and other factors, she had a relapse," the doctor explained.

"What other factors?" asked Elliot.

"She's dehydrated, probably hasn't been eating, and from the darkness under her eyes would say she hasn't been sleeping either," he said quietly. Elliot nodded in agreement.

"What happens now? When will she wake up?" he asked.

"Right now we have her on an IV drip for rehydration, along with a strong course of antibiotics. We've drawn blood for testing. We're cooling her down and are hopeful her temperature will drop quite quickly and she'll be awake within the hour." He smiled reassuringly at Elliot. "They've moved her to a room, I can take you in to see her if you want?" Elliot was at the door before he could finish his offer.

Elliot's hand was only inches away from Olivia's face before he quickly drew back. "Can I touch her?" he whispered looking up at the doctor.

"Sure you can…and given the quiet day we're likely to have with the snow, there's no reason you can't lie down in that next bed and get yourself some sleep, okay?" Elliot smiled at the doctor's suggestion but they both knew it wouldn't be happening until Olivia was awake and Eliot knew she was alright.

Dr Woodbridge left the room soon after and Elliot pulled a chair up to her bedside. He leaned back in the chair and watched her intently. Though his eyelids were heavy and fatigue had set in he would not give in. Each time he felt it taking a hold; he'd get up and walk around the room, all the while looking at her. It was to his immense relief her eyes fluttered open just after eight.

"Hey Livvy," he said quietly as she slowly looked around the room and tried to focus her eyes. "You're in hospital," he added when her eyes fixed on the needle in her arm. "You're okay." It took all her energy to look up at him.

"What happened?" she croaked.

"You passed out on the bathroom floor," he explained quietly, sitting back down beside her and taking her hand.

"Why?" Her head was a swirl and she had little ability to think for herself. Elliot looked at the pain and confusion evident in her chocolate eyes; he moved and sat up on the bed beside her. She shuffled across to give him room.

"You have a severe infection and were running a really high temperature, they have given you lots of fluids and antibiotics and now you're awake," he explained quietly.

"I guess sitting out in the icy cold isn't the thing to do, is it?" she asked, looking down at his hand which was still holding hers.

"It didn't help but it didn't cause it," he replied, hoping to have a much needed conversation with her.

"Oh," she replied.

Not willing to let it go with a single syllable, Elliot edged closer and gingerly wrapped his arms around her, thankful she wasn't resistant.

"Livvy," he whispered, "the infection started with the bites." He stopped when he felt her tense up. Desperate not to lose this opportunity he kissed her head and pulled her closer. "Please talk to me."

**eoeo Asphalt eoeo**

_**Warning: the next chapter contains the details people have been demanding since chapter one. **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**AN 2: This ff (and the current JAG one I'm updating) mark the last ffs to be posted on this site for a while. I am taking a break - it may be a month, it may be six, I'm unsure. There are 60 stories in my portfolio to check out in my absence. Thanks to all who have supported my writing. Feel free to PM me or email me.**

**_200 reviews and 10000 hits shows amazing support for this story and for that I'm forever thankful. They say to go out with a bang so it seems that's what I am doing. There's about 3 chapters left after this one. Thank you once again for checking this story out._**

**--Asphalt--**

**_Jazz, posting this so quickly is a reward for your self control, your news and for you!_**

**_WARNING: This chapter details Olivia's assault._**

Olivia took several deep breaths. "What do you want to know?" she whispered.

"Everything! I want to know what happened," he paused. "And I want to know why you didn't tell me."

"I couldn't," she replied answering the last question first.

"Why not, Liv?" The pain at her answer evident in his voice.

"Didn't think you'd believe me…" she started, "well, you might have but you others wouldn't and I couldn't handle that and …"

"I would have believed you," he whispered, raising her face to his. She shook her head sadly.

"You don't know that…you'd be between a rock and a hard place and I couldn't be sure you'd believe me." She sighed deeply. Closing her eyes she rested her head back on his chest and listened to his heart race.

Elliot grimaced, she had said he'd 'be between a rock and a hard place' … him not her. The only way for this to be the case is if he knew the bastard who did this and knew him well. "Livvy," he began, rubbing his hand across her back, "who did this?" She shook her head again and held close to him. Nothing more was said for a while and when Olivia looked up she realised Elliot had fallen asleep. Thankful for the respite, she closed her eyes again and drifted off again. However, it was a different story when she awoke to Elliot trying to get out of bed.

"Elliot, where are you going?" she asked, surprising him.

"You're supposed to be asleep," he growled still extracting his arm. She grabbed hold of it, concerned by his tone. "El, you okay?"

"I'm fine, Olivia," he said and she cringed, knowing he was anything but.

"God, I'm so sorry," she whispered, knowing she had caused the pain she heard in his voice.

He quickly turned back to her. "Why are you sorry?" He watched as she sat up in the bed and drew her knees up to her chest before dropping her head and sobbing. "Liv?" he quickly scrambled back to her and held her. "Honey, shhh," he whispered, kissing her head. Olivia moved and buried her head in his chest.

"Don't hate me," she sobbed, grasping his shirt tightly.

"Livvy, I could never hate you, never." He kissed her head again. "Why would you think..."

"Because I couldn't tell you…I wanted to … I want to... it's just ... I just…oh god…" She swiped at the tears still freely falling, gasping for breath. He slid back down in the bed and pulled her tightly to him.

"Baby, just take a deep breath. Just breathe." He stroked her hair and closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep his own tears at bay, it didn't help. "Do you remember last night ...in the shower ... I told you I was here for you and I loved you?" He waited for her to nod. "Just take a breath, then tell me everything and I promise you I will still be here and I will still love you when you've finished, okay?" She nodded again as his lips pressed against her hair.

Three long deep breaths later, Olivia began.

"Can I tell you who he is at the end?" she asked quietly and Elliot nodded. "Okay, I've known him for a couple of years, met him through a good friend, and he was a nice guy. Always friendly, good sense of humour, he's a cop so he knows the job…" She stopped when she felt his body tense around hers.

"Go on," he whispered, not wanting her to stop now.

"Anyway about six weeks ago we ran into each other and he asked me out and I agreed. Went for dinner and to a movie, you know your classic first date stuff and we had fun. Second date was just dinner and dancing, that was the night Fin saw us, anyway he kissed me and seemed to want to take it further but I didn't, ... didn't really feel that way about him. He got called into work and the date ended, so ...um...all was well."

"Ah ha," Elliot said, his stomach was churning and he knew if let go of her his hands would be trembling, so he just held her tighter.

"So, then he called by _that_ Wednesday night and brought Chinese with him. We ate, chatted, watched TV…you know just your basic stuff." She felt him nod. "Then as we're sitting on the sofa I felt his arm go around my shoulders and I didn't want to make a fuss so I ignored it. But not long after his hand was on my breast. I tried to remove it but he wouldn't let me and put his other hand on my thigh." She paused and Elliot drew a deep breath...he knew what was coming. "I told him in no uncertain terms to stop but he wouldn't – kept saying he was the best thing that had happened to me and I'd enjoy it." She gripped his top tightly. "I tried to get up but he grabbed me and held me on his lap. He had one hand up my shirt, one behind my head and his tongue down my throat." She stopped again and felt the gentle touch of Elliot's lips on her head.

A few more deep breaths later she continued. "I elbowed him in the ribs, got away and told him to leave but he wouldn't. He kept apologising, saying he'd had a bad day and I needed to forgive him. Told him he could go to hell and he seemed to quieten down and I thought it was over that he'd go…" her voice trailed and silence settled between them.

"So what happened?" Elliot prompted, knowing it wasn't the full story.

"You rang," she stopped again unable to continue, her whole body trembling.

"What happened after I rang, Olivia?" he asked slowly, holding her closer.

"He lost it altogether. Started choking me and yelling and screaming saying if you could fuck me so could he…I tried to tell him we'd never…but he wouldn't listen … went on and on about you and me and said it was only fair to screw him as I screwed other cops." Silent tears fell at the memory of the night but her voice remained strong, almost detached.

She took another deep breath determined to get it all out at once. "I got away from him but then he came at me again and grabbed me, I tried to resist, honestly I did, El, but he's six five and I didn't have the strength. I remember thinking of the irony of being an SVU cop who couldn't even protect herself."

"Anyway," she continued after a short pause. "He dragged me into my bedroom and threw me on the bed, he was pawing at me and tearing my top and I was trying to slap his hands away, that's how I got all the scratches. I was kicking at his legs, so he straddled my waist and pinned me to the bed that's when he gave me the two 'love bites' on my breast…they just bled and bled and he thought it was wonderful he had 'branded' me. I was his and not yours now. Said if I told no one would believe me, especially you." She pressed in closer to him.

"He was holding my two hands in one of his and using his other hand to pull down my sweats. When that was done he um…he freed himself and I kept screaming so he stupidly shoved it in my mouth." She shuddered at the memory. Elliot's blood ran cold. "So I did the only thing I could think of, I bit it – hard. He screamed and jumped off, I kicked him as hard as I could and ran out of the apartment. I hid out in the custodian's cupboard in the hallway. I could hear all hell breaking loose but I stayed there until long after I saw him go." She felt the warm splash of Elliot's tears fall onto her forehead. "When I went back in he'd trashed the place – broken the mirrors and windows, some furniture, punched a few holes in the walls and he had um…he'd obviously made himself come – all over my bed. I tried to clean it up and then had a shower but when I realised the bites were still bleeding I went to Mercy and had them seen too."

"Baby," he whispered, drawing her face up to hers. "Why didn't you call me? I'd have come over. I'd have helped you." His tears continued to fall.

"I thought he was right and you wouldn't believe me," she sobbed.

"Why not? Why would I believe him and not you, Liv?" he asked desperately.

"That's because it was Michael Robertson," Don Cragen said, startling them both. "I came in while you were asleep…and I didn't want to interrupt."

"Michael Robertson?" Elliot looked back at Olivia, she nodded sadly. "Oh god, Liv, I am so sorry." Michael and Elliot had gone to the academy together, had been good friends over the intervening years. It was Elliot who had introduced them three years earlier when they met up at a crime scene. "I'll kill him!" he muttered, holding onto her as she sobbed into chest, ignoring the fact their boss was now standing alongside the bed behind Elliot,

"You don't have to, Elliot," he said, reaching over Elliot and placing a comforting hand on Olivia's arm. "I told you I would sort that out and I am." Elliot nodded. "I am so sorry this happened, Liv, you know I'll do anything and everything to help you, right?" he asked, squeezing her arm. She nodded. A few minutes of silence ensued as a nurse came into check the IV.

When she left Elliot spoke. "Have the weather conditions improved, Don? How did you get here?"

"They're bad, not ideal for driving but after your call this morning I knew I had to come and see for myself," Don explained. Olivia looked between them confused.

"You called in? When?" she asked.

"About five this morning while I was waiting for Dr Woodbridge," Elliot admitted.

"What's the time now?" she asked.

"Just gone eleven," Don answered.

"You didn't waste anytime getting here," she replied, appreciative of his efforts.

"Well, when my two favourite detectives are in trouble then there is no time to waste," he said. Olivia stared at Elliot, as far as she knew she was the only one in trouble.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered concerned. He shook his head.

"You're what's wrong with Elliot, he will deny it but he was very distressed when he rang this morning and I knew he wasn't telling me everything. So I came to see for myself," Don explained.

"I told you everything I knew about Olivia," Elliot defended himself.

"Yes, everything about Olivia and nothing about you. I had to wait until you two woke up and started talking to fill in the blanks," he said.

"What blanks?" asked Olivia.

"Oh, the part about him loving you," Don grinned. Elliot's cheeks started to colour. "I figured that was it when we were on the phone this morning but if I waited for you to get back and get around to telling me I'd have been waiting a long time. Meanwhile…there are things need to put in place."

"There's …um no need to put anything into place yet," said Elliot, well aware he was the only one who had declared his love. If she didn't love him then they could still be partners and nothing would need to change. Olivia looked at him and it took her a minute to figure out his response before the meaning dawned on her.

"Hate to contradict you, Stabler, but I think there is a reason to do it now," she said, glancing between her boss and the man beside her in bed. "I couldn't say it last night but I can now…I love you too," she whispered before kissing his cheek. Don grinned, this was about to make life more difficult for him but he was more than pleased they'd finally admitted what he had known for a long time.

"You do?" Elliot whispered back, she nodded.

"Okay, you really don't need a third wheel for this little enquiry. You should be getting out in a few hours Liv, so I'll expect to see you in the hotel bistro for dinner at seven or at least one of you," Don said, looking directly at Elliot. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Olivia's forehead. "I'm glad you're awake."

"Thanks Don…for everything," she replied, knowing he could have made it very difficult for the both of them. He cupped her cheek in his hand before patting it gently, "I'll get the bastard, Liv." He looked at Elliot and patted his cheek too. "You take good care of her or I'll be kicking your ass too."

**eoeo Asphalt eoeo**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN 1: For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**--Asphalt--**

The door had barely closed behind Cragen when Elliot gently took Olivia's face in his hands. "Now we don't have an audience would you mind saying that again," he whispered, shifting in the bed to be face to face with her.

"I love you too, Elliot Stabler," she whispered, watching his blue eyes tear up.

"Is it alright if I kiss you, Liv?" he asked, not wanting to force anything on her.

"Is it going to hurt you?" she asked, tracing her finger over the split in his lip and still feeling bad about being the cause of it.

"Livvy, that sort of pain I can deal with," he whispered leaning forward.

Physical pain he could tolerate, knowing he was the common link between the woman he loved and the man who attacked her was a pain which was indescribable and unbearable. Ever so gently their lips touched; his still swollen and sore from her nightmare punch, hers dry and cracked from the fever which had wracked her body. Despite it all, the kiss was soft and tender, both trying to pour their love into the other without demanding anything in return – all that could wait until later.

Olivia snuggled in as close as she could to him and then pressed her body into his needing his physical presence more than any IV or antibiotic.

"I thought it would be harder," she mumbled into his chest as she held tightly to him.

"Well, Liv, this isn't exactly the time or place…" he began, slightly flustered. Olivia opened her eyes and looked up at him, realising he'd misinterpreted her words.

"No El," she laughed, playfully hitting his chest. "I thought telling Don would be harder. Whenever I've imagined telling him about us there was always some shouting and ultimatums…" she explained.

"You've thought about telling him? When? You only told me you loved me five minutes ago…why would you be telling Don?" Elliot asked confused.

"Well, despite me living in denial about the fact I was in love with you, I guess I always knew D-Day would come," Olivia said quietly running her fingers over his heart.

"D-Day?" he asked, raising her face back to his.

"Yeah, telling Don Day…I'm just relieved it went so well," she concluded with a yawn. Elliot leaned down and kissed her head.

"No more talking for now, Livvy, get some sleep." And that's what they both did.

A few hours later Olivia awoke to the movement of someone else in the room, instinctively she pushed back into Elliot and felt his arm tighten around her waist. Opening her eyes she focused on the doctor checking her chart.

"Oh, hello," she said quietly, not wanting to wake Elliot.

"Well, hi there yourself, Olivia. I'm Dr Woodbridge. How are you feeling?" he asked nearing her bed.

"Much better now, thanks to you I'm sure," she said, grateful for the medical care she was receiving.

"You're more than welcome but I'm not too sure the antibiotics alone are responsible for your dramatic improvement," he said. "I'm sure he had a lot to do with it too." He nodded towards Elliot and Olivia grinned.

"Yeah, I think he had something to do with it," she admitted, a smile lighting up her face.

"Well, Olivia, this IV has about forty minutes to go, and if you're feeling well enough I think we can discharge you. What do you think?" he asked, scanning her chart.

"I think I'd like that very much," Olivia grinned.

"You'll have a course of antibiotics to take, a report for your own doctor and you must make a follow up appointment – and keep it," he stated. Olivia nodded. "And you need to make sure you get plenty of rest and allow yourself to recover fully from both the infection and the assault." Olivia nodded again, the grin gone from her face.

Dr Woodbridge noted her expression. "Olivia, don't think of these four weeks off as a negative…"

"Four weeks?" Olivia said. "I don't…"

"You do and you're taking them…Your captain came and collected your medical certificate so he could process your leave, he said he would do it because you wouldn't," the doctor smiled. "Do something fun, Olivia, take that man with you and go somewhere for a week or two – somewhere warm maybe. It'll do wonders for your soul."

As the doctor departed, Elliot woke.

"Was that Woodbridge?" he asked, yawning and stretching at the same time.

"Yeah it was," Olivia nodded.

"What did he say?" Elliot propped himself up on one elbow and brushed her hair from her face. She closed her eyes but it was too late, he'd already seen the tears forming. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "What did he say, Liv?" he repeated softly.

"He says I can get out of here when this drip finishes – about forty minutes," she replied. He nodded, waiting for more but it didn't come.

"What else did he say?" Kicking himself for not waking up ten minutes earlier and hearing it all firsthand.

"Um, that I have to take a course of antibiotics and make sure I get plenty of rest." She opened her eyes, the tears at bay.

"That's okay, isn't it?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah it is," she acknowledged, turning away from him and closing her eyes again.

Elliot ran his hand up and down her arm before snuggling down behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her tightly. He gave her a few moments before kissing her neck. "What's wrong, baby?" She shook her head but it didn't dissuade him. Gently he eased her around and she wrapped herself in his body. Quiet tears trickled down her cheeks and while he couldn't see them he knew they were there.

"I'm here whenever you're ready, Liv?" he whispered, kissing her head. "Whenever you're ready."

Ten minutes later she was ready. She pulled back and planted a kiss on his nose. "Thanks for being here."

"Anytime, baby," he replied, squeezing her tightly. A thousand questions sat in his mouth but he didn't ask them, instead waiting patiently for her to speak. In due course it came.

"Dr Woodbridge said I've got the next four weeks off," she said quietly. "And when I tried to object he said it was too late because Cragen already had the paperwork." He kissed her head; he couldn't see a problem so far. "Then he suggested I take you and go on a holiday – somewhere warm." She stopped again but still Elliot didn't see a problem. When she offered no more he decided it was his turn.

"Livvy, what's wrong with that? You don't want the time off? You don't want the holiday?" he asked confused. She shook her head.

"It…um…highlighted a couple of things…which I hadn't really wanted to think about…but I guess I need to," she answered tearfully.

"What's that?" he asked gently.

"I've got to go home," she sobbed. "And there's so many repairs I need to make before I'll even feel comfortable…if I ever will."

"I can help you with them, Liv…we can do it together," he offered and she nodded. "What else is there?"

"I don't think I want to spend four weeks at home thinking about why I'm not at work and I don't know if I want to worry about going back to a job I don't know if I can do anymore and I don't…" she gushed.

"Hey, hey, breathe," he soothed when he realised she was almost breathless. "Let's just take some time out right now. You don't have to make any decisions about career options right this minute. And given the change in our relationship, career options are something we might want to discuss with Don too, okay?"

Olivia nodded and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, I just…just…"

"Don't apologise, Livvy, we'll sort it all out, okay?" He raised he face again. "Okay?"

"I love you," she whispered in response.

"Good because I love you too."

**eoeo Asphalt eoeo**

**two chapters to go**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**AN : For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place. **

**--Asphalt--**

It was Elliot alone who faced his boss in the hotel's bistro for dinner that night. Olivia was exhausted and wanted nothing more than some more sleep, promising she'd eat supper with Elliot when he returned to their room.

"Liv okay?" Don asked as Elliot sat down opposite him.

"Yeah, just exhausted," Elliot said, stifling a yawn of his own.

"How are you doing?" he asked, replacing the menu.

"Much better than when I spoke to you this morning," Elliot admitted.

"I'll bet," Don smiled.

"So…Robertson?" Elliot said, bitterly. "You know when I see him I'm gonna…"

"You are not going to do anything, El… The last thing Olivia needs is you up on an assault charge or worse attempted murder," Don said firmly.

"You heard what he did to her…I can't just let it go..." Elliot replied, glaring at his boss.

"You're going to have to, son. You…" he began.

"This is my fault, Don. Mine! If I had never introduced them..." Elliot interrupted.

"You don't know that, they're both cops…they could have met another way," Don interjected.

"Yeah, but who's to say Liv would have gone out with him if he wasn't MY friend," Elliot growled.

"Elliot, don't do this to yourself," he said. But Elliot couldn't stop, there was so much eating at him and he knew it was better to let this out now than to keep it inside and run the risk of it spilling over onto Olivia.

"I introduced them, Don…ME. He was MY friend. I told Liv what a great guy he was…ME. I'm the one who rang that night and sent him over the edge…ME. I'm the one she should have been able to call, to come to but no…she couldn't…didn't trust me…and I mean she had every right not to… after all I put the bastard in her life…I triggered his attack. ME!"

Don reached over and took the fork out of Elliot's hand, the one he had managed to bend in half while he was speaking. "Son, from what I saw at the hospital she doesn't blame you … you blaming yourself is not going to help her get through this."

"Can't help it…" Elliot sighed. "I look at her and just want to kill him."

"I understand that, I honestly do, but…" he started. "Robertson's no longer a threat to Liv."

Elliot looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Picked up, arrested and charged," Don replied.

"Liv's made no formal complaint," Elliot said.

"No, but the bastard was at a bar drinking and was big noting himself. It seems his been doing some under the table stuff. Apparently it's enough to put him away for ten to fifteen," his boss said. "He can't deny it. It was overheard by a couple of cops…"

"And who would they have been?" Elliot asked noting the glint in Don's eye.

"Fin and Munch," Don smirked.

"Oh." Elliot picked up his beer and took a mouthful.

"He's also spending a couple of nights in Mercy," Don added before taking a sip of water.

"Why?" Elliot asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Seems he had a pretty nasty accident on the way out of the bar," Don reported, taking a sip of water.

"Really?" Elliot commented.

"Yeah, damn sidewalks can be so slippery in this weather," Don replied.

Elliot smiled, he knew his friends would handle it and he'd have nothing to worry about… but he also knew one day down the track he'd catch up with Robertson again and introduce his now former friend to a whole new definition for the word 'pain'.

Elliot shook his head, problem one down – only about another fifty to sort out.

"What is it, son?" he asked.

"Liv, she's not sure about going home, apparently there's a lot of damage to the apartment, she's not sure about taking leave and she's not sure about returning to the job," Elliot said, his eyes fixed on the table.

"Well, Elliot, she's taking the leave, she needs it. I won't accept her transfer or resignation until she gets some counselling and we sort out what we can do about you and her," Don explained.

Elliot smiled, it just left her apartment.

Don read his mind. "You think you could get her to stay here another couple of nights?"

"Probably, why?" Elliot asked, picking up the menu.

"Gives me time to sort out the other damage."

Don returned to New York while Olivia and Elliot stayed the additional days in Rochester. She had required very little to convince her, preferring to spend a few more days confined in a room with Elliot than having to face anyone or anything else.

But when Wednesday morning dawned she knew her escape was up and she had to return home, there was no point putting off the inevitable. She was up and dressed before Elliot awoke and was sitting on the sofa with her knees drawn up to her chin when he finally stirred. Realising he was in bed alone, he slowly opened his eyes and immediately spotted her on the sofa.

"Hey baby, you okay?" he asked, making his way over to her.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Thinking about going home?" he asked, kissing her head as he sat beside her, pulling her into his lap.

"Yeah." She snuggled into him, not wanting to face the reality which waited for her beyond the doors of the Strathallen Hotel and the city limits of Rochester.

"You know you are not doing any of this on your own, Liv. I'm here and I'm be with you the whole way," he whispered into her ear before kissing it.

"I know but…" she began.

"No buts. Today I will take you home to your apartment, we'll see what's what and we'll take it from there," he said gently. "And then we'll see about that holiday to sunnier climes."

"Yeah, that's nice but you'll be back at work and I…" she began, knowing she should be able to function away from him, knowing she really didn't want to.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm on leave," he said, taking hold of her hand and entwining their fingers.

"For how long?" she asked, pulling away from him.

"For as long as I need," he replied, pulling her back.

"And how long do you need?" she asked quietly.

"I need as much time as it takes me to take that pain from your eyes and replace it with a smile," he whispered earnestly.

"That may take a while," Olivia sighed as a tear fell. Elliot leant in and kissed it away.

"Olivia, I don't care if it takes forever – you are my priority, you are my life. Okay?" His tear filled eyes locked with hers, she nodded.

The ride back to the city was a mixed one. The long stretch of asphalt was as strong and reliable as their strengthened relationship. This road was the one which had taken her away from the source of the pain but now it was returning her to the scene and that was disconcerting to say the least. At the outset the drive was a relaxed, smooth ride with chatter and a few laughs changing to be a somewhat tense one with an increasing silence as the their destination neared.

"I love you," Elliot said, after a prolonged silence. He glanced sideways and saw a slight smile come to her face.

"Love you too," she replied, reaching out and resting her hand on his leg. As they got closer to the city he felt her hand tense and at one stage her nails dug into his flesh. He glanced across at her and realised she had no idea she was doing it.

"Hey," he said gently, lifting her hand and kissing it. "What do you want to do about dinner?"

"Dinner?" she repeated, coming out of her trance.

"Yeah, dinner," he repeated.

Olivia considered her options and then just shrugged, she knew she was somewhat hungry now but felt that once they got to her place all she'd feel was ill. Elliot didn't push.

Elliot made his way to her apartment, there was no point putting off the inevitable. He listened as her breathing altered and he knew she was trying to keep herself calm and reassured. Finding a handy parking space he pulled in and killed the engine.

"We're here, Liv," he said and unbuckled his belt. He climbed out of the car, grabbed her gear from the trunk and went to her side of the car; she had made no attempt to move. Opening her door, he noticed the tears shining in her eyes. He leant in and unbuckled her belt before crouching down alongside her.

"Baby, I know this is going to be hard for you but it is going to be okay," he said quietly. "We don't have to stay long but we do, at least, need to pick up some of your things, okay?"

She nodded and looked at him then the building and back. "Can't you go up by yourself?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I could,' he replied, "but I'm not going to." The first of her tears began to fall and he wiped them away quickly. "He is never going to hurt you again, Liv. I am never going to let anyone hurt you. But this is something you have to do for yourself and you know it." She nodded, he was right.

They were on her floor, walking down the hallway before she had doubts all over again. As they passed the custodian's cupboard, the one she'd sought refuge in it all came back to her. The sights, the smells, the feeling of him shoving his dick into her mouth – she gagged involuntarily.

"Hey Liv," Elliot said grabbing onto her. "You okay?"

She nodded. She was okay, she was okay, she was okay – she kept repeating to herself. Outside her door she paused.

"What are you most worried about?" he asked gently as he held her tightly in his arms.

"That I'll never feel right about being in there again…never feel like it's home," she said very quietly. "That every hole, every broken thing will be a reminder of what he did."

"Livvy, we don't have to spend a second extra in here than we have too. We can grab whatever you need and head to my place. You can stay there for as long as you need, you can move in, we can get somewhere together…whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable, okay?" He pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Okay then," she said, feeling confident and reassured that she could do this. She turned and inserted her key into the lock and was startled when the door opened without her assistance. The first thing she saw was the face of her boss.

"Welcome home, Olivia," he said, kissing her cheek.

"Hey Don," she said hesitantly. She scanned her apartment. "What's going on?"

"Well," he said, putting his arm around her and walking her into her own home, "we thought we'd just clean up a bit."

"A bit?" she said incredulously.

"Well, yeah."

A smile finally graced her face as she took in her home, the one she'd been scared to return to. It had been made-over; all evidence of the night had been removed. Furniture mended or replaced, the holes in the wall and broken window repaired. The apartment had been completely painted in bright fresh colours and there was no evidence left of his presence in the apartment. Hell, there seemed to be little evidence this was her apartment at all.

Olivia stood in her sitting room stunned, trying to take in the work which had been done in her absence. She couldn't help but cry.

"Hey, baby girl, wrong choice of colour?" Fin asked, coming from the kitchen before hugging her tightly.

"No, it's perfect," she replied as she held onto him.

"Munch and I took care of him, baby," he whispered. "He ain't ever goin' hurt you again, okay?"

She nodded and held on tighter. "Thank you," she whispered.

"He didn't do all the work himself," Munch said, coming over to the pair. "I helped." Olivia extracted herself from Fin and hugged Munch.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Liv, you never have to thank me for that. I won't admit this to them…" He nodded towards their colleagues, "but you are my favourite person, I'd do anything for you." He kissed her forehead as she sobbed against his chest. Never in her life had she imagined Munch making such a statement.

Olivia moved from Munch to Don and sighed deeply as he held onto her, she knew this was his doing. She wanted to thank him but there were just no words to express how she felt at this moment. Don sensed her problem. "Olivia, I know," he said kissing her cheek. She sighed again and watched as Elliot moved over to Fin and Munch, both men embracing him in turn. Whether or not Don had told them of the change in their relationship, they both knew he cared more about her than anyone in the world, and they knew the last weeks had taken an enormous toll on him too.

"Well, how about I shout dinner?" Olivia said, pulling away from her boss. "Chinese okay?" The general consensus was yes. Elliot made the call as Don showed Olivia through the rest of her apartment; their last stop was the bedroom. She shuddered involuntarily before he'd even opened her door.

"You okay, Liv?" he asked. She nodded. He opened the door and she gasped. Not only was the room freshly painted in lavender hues, the bed had been replaced by a larger canopy bed and the whole room rearranged. It bore no resemblance to the place she had fled from that terrible night. She moved over to the bed and sat down on it –it felt incredible. Her head swirled in disbelief. "Liv, you okay?" he asked as Elliot came to the door. She nodded. "Alright, I might just leave you two alone for a while and make sure those two out there have cleaned up everything."

"Wow!" said Elliot, as he took in the room.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," Olivia said. "It's just so beautiful."

"Just like you," he replied, sitting down on the bed beside her.

"I can't believe they did all this," she admitted as she leant into him.

"They love you too, Livvy," he replied. She nodded. "But promise me you'll remember something?" he asked, pulling back from her.

"Sure," she replied.

"Always remember I love you more," he said earnestly.

"I'm never likely to forget that, sweetheart," she replied, leaning in to gently kiss his lips.

"Good," he mumbled into her mouth.

"Well, I knew there was something Don wasn't telling us," Munch said, standing at the bedroom door.

"Somethin' indeed," Fin added, standing alongside him.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and then at their friends.

"So?" the men asked in unison, before looking at each other oddly. Usually it was only Elliot and Olivia who spoke in unison.

"I'm in love with my partner," Olivia answered, resting her head on his.

"And I'm in love with mine," Elliot added, a broad grin spreading across his face.

"Well, I'm not in love with mine," Munch said disdainfully.

'Couldn't have said in better myself," snorted Fin.

Don came in. "Good! I can sort it out for those two." He gestured towards the bed, "but I don't think I can swing it for you two as well." Olivia laughed and laughed hard, the laughter releasing so much which was pent up inside of her. It brought tears to her eyes and to the men surrounding her. She leant back into Elliot and felt his arms wrap around her stomach and pull her to him.

"I love you guys so much," she said, resting the back of her head on Elliot's shoulder. "I don't know how to thank you for all this…I don't know how to repay you…I…"

"Liv, the only thing you need to do is to get better, feel better and remain part of this group," Don said.

Olivia glanced between Elliot and Don. "But a relationship with…"

Don cut her off. "I'm not talking about the squad, although I will do my best with that, I'm talking about this group right here. We are a very odd group…"

"Speak for yourself," interjected Munch.

"But we are family," Don concluded, glaring at him.

Olivia sighed deeply, she'd run away from this very room feeling she had no one and everything was lost. Now she knew she belonged in this place, with these people and was surrounded by love. It was the first time in a long time she felt safe and secure.

**eoeo Asphalt eoeo**

**one chapter to go**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. **

**For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter ****place. **

**_Happy Birthday Christopher Meloni - 47 today!!_**

**--Asphalt--**

Later that night Olivia was stirred from her sleep by a noise she just couldn't place. It took her several minutes to awake fully and to realise she was in her own bedroom before she dared to investigate. Tiptoeing to her bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, she peered through to her sitting room. The table lamp was still on, a legacy of her newfound fear of the darkness in her own apartment. She rested her head on the door jamb trying to figure out the noise, then it came to her, it was Elliot. He was on the sofa, the place they both agreed he should stay. She wanted to try and sleep one night by herself, to prove to herself she could do it...so long as Elliot would only be as far away as the next room.

"Elliot?" she called making her way to him. She watched him shuffle around and wipe at his face. "Hey."

"Hi Liv," he mumbled. "Why are you awake?"

"Why are you crying?" she questioned in return.

"I'm not crying." He took her hand and she sat down beside him.

"Then, I'm sorry to say, your face seems to be leaking." Olivia gently caressed his face, wiping away the trails left by his tears.

"Go back to bed," Elliot said softly.

"No," replied Olivia, "not until you talk to me."

Elliot dropped his head, shaking it. He didn't want to have this conversation, not now, not yet. Olivia knew she should show him the same patience and consideration he had shown her during all this. She knew she should give him the time he needed and let him come to her of his own accord. She knew she should just hug him and then let him be. However, despite everything she knew she couldn't do it, she couldn't walk away from him.

Gently she raised his face to hers, and despite his attempts to look away, she gazed into his watery blue eyes. Clearly on show was his guilt and shame.

"I love you, Elliot," she whispered, dropping a light kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Love you too, Liv," he replied, lacing his fingers with her.

"And you have nothing to feel guilty about," she whispered, causing his tears to appear again. She kissed them away. "This is not your fault."

Elliot shook his head, this was all his fault. He had been the one to introduce them; he had been the one who extolled all of Michael Robertson's qualities. He was the one who had called that night, sending his 'friend' over the edge. He was the one she couldn't tell. All him. All his fault.

"I don't blame you, El," Olivia continued. "Honestly, I don't." She kissed his cheek. "I also don't want you blaming yourself."

"But I do, Liv," he said, squeezing her hand. "If I had never…"

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it still doesn't make it your fault. You are not responsible for his actions," she whispered.

"I'm just so sorry I ever met him, Livvy. So sorry I ever introduced you two." He pulled her to him and held on tightly.

"So am I," Olivia whispered pulling back a little.

Tenderly she ran her fingers through his hair. "Can you do me a favour, El?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

"Anything, baby," he replied.

"I know we talked about this earlier but I don't want you sleeping out here. Can you come and let me sleep with you …please?" she asked nodding towards her bedroom. Elliot nodded, he wanted nothing more.

Before long they were both settled in bed, all lights were off and Olivia was wrapped in Elliot's arms. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Love you, El," she muttered.

"Love you, Liv," he replied.

When Olivia's breathing evened out and she was sound asleep, Elliot allowed himself to drift off. He knew they had a long road to travel to both be okay about everything which had happened but this was a good place to begin.

To his surprise he awoke not an hour later and found himself in bed alone. He scanned the room and found Olivia standing by the bedroom window, her arms wrapped tightly around her trying to keep the cold night air at bay.

Instantly Elliot was out of bed, wrapping the huge white quilt around himself. "Hey Livvy," he said coming up behind her and wrapping himself and the quilt around her.

"Hey," she muttered, still staring out the window.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, kissing her head.

She smiled wistfully. "I love those streets," she said, nodding towards the illuminated streets below. "They're such a part of me. I know them so well." Elliot nodded. "I need to get away from them though. I don't want to stand here being afraid of them and what lurks down there, or up here for that matter."

"Aha," Elliot answered.

"Think I may take that doctor's advice and get away for a while by myself, take some time out for me to just regroup and get better. Would that be alright with you?" she asked, turning around to face him.

_No _was his first thought, but he knew this had to be about her and her alone. "You just do whatever you feel you have to, whatever you want to do, okay?" He kissed her nose. "What were you thinking?"

"Well…" She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. "There's a retreat upstate which runs those inner peace and harmony type things – you know relaxation and counselling etc. Thought I'd book in there for a couple of weeks," she said, sighing deeply as his hands rubbed her back.

"You know I'll miss you," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"And I'll miss you," she replied.

He could sense there was more. "Then what do you want to do, Livvy?"

"Then I was thinking of going somewhere warm…just like the doctor said," she replied.

"Somewhere warm like…?" His voice trailed.

"I've always wanted to go to Australia and it's warm there right now," she replied.

"Australia? Really?" His stomach sank, he could barely cope being in the next room, he didn't want to think about her being thousands of miles away from him.

"Yeah, Australia is pretty cool. Thought I'd could do the east coast … see the sights… rest, you know, just hang out…" she explained.

"Sounds like a good plan," he replied. "Um…how long do you think you'll be there?"

She held on tighter. "It's a long way away and it's a big country…" she paused, squeezing him tighter. "I'm thinking a couple of months."

"A couple of months," he repeated, his mouth painfully dry.

"Yeah." She looked up at him, allowing herself to get lost in his eyes. "I have so much leave just sitting there and I'm sure Don will let me take it."

"I'm sure he will, since I think you're his favourite detective," Elliot said, trying to smile but it wouldn't come.

"You think he'd let you take your leave too?" she asked quietly.

"For what?" he asked, trying not to assume anything.

"Well, I need to do the retreat thing by myself but I was hoping you'd want to go to Australia with me," she all but whispered.

"You want me to go with you? To Australia? For two months?" he questioned.

"Only if you want too…I mean you don't…" she began flustered. He pressed his finger to her lips.

"I thought you'd never ask, Liv." He kissed her gently. "I'd go anywhere with you, anytime."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really!" he confirmed.

"Then, will you go to bed with me now?" she asked. Elliot grinned and scooped her up before carrying back to the bed. He eased her down and shuffled in beside her, making sure she was fully covered and comfortable. Olivia wrapped herself in him and listened to his heartbeat and breathing, not surprised to find hers were in unison.

The road ahead would be long; it would take them to many and varied places. There would be straight, easy stretches and bumpy, treacherous ones but their distinct advantage from here on in is that they would be in this together. For them the asphalt of their life's road would be solid, complete and big enough for both of them to travel along side by side.

**_The End_**

**eoeo Asphalt eoeo**

**Author's Note:**

**The road ahead for everybody is different and for now this is where we part ways. I am hoping it is only temporary but I won't make any promises. **

**That said. I'm going to take this opportunity to say a few things, so please either indulge me or feel free to stop reading now.**

**I started posting stories last August and now have over 60 in my portfolio, all but one of the SVU ones have been written in this time, most of the JAG ones were written previously and polished for posting here. I'm sure you'll agree it's taken a lot of time and effort to do that. In that time I have also reviewed countless chapters and one-shots and have discovered there are some amazing people on this site, some whom I am extremely fortunate to now call friends.**

**If you've read a few of my stories you'll have seen the names pop up time and time again ... Sam, Laura, Hannah, Jazz, Allie ... It's hard to believe we've known each other less than six months ... sometimes it feels like I have always known you ... you have become such a part of my life and something I treasure. I know I've had countless conversations with you, individually, which have reflected the trials which we all face in life. The saying goes "Life wasn't meant to be easy" and sometimes chatting away with you I know that it wasn't supposed to be as hard as it is either for us. You are incredible, wonderful people and though I'm not here for a while, you know where I am and I hope our conversations continue.**

**To all those who have reviewed / PM'd / emailed me, I know I have thanked you at the time for your support of my writing and although I won't name individuals here now, you know who you are. I truly appreciate the commitment many of you have shown to read and review every chapter I've written, whether it be JAG or SVU.**

**My break from this site is for several reasons and I'm not about to go into the specifics, just that it is a break from this site and the stuff that goes with it. I will still review the stories I have started reading, I will still respond to reviews and PMs. I am still writing and some of you will be pleased to know I am currently working on a sequel to Picking Up the Pieces ... and a few other new ones.**

**While I don't want to upset people and burn bridges, I don't want to be untrue to myself and not say the following: You will all agree with me there are some amazing authors on this site, their works have made me a better writer merely by the examples they set. There are also some wonderful people who provide thoughtful reviews and are appreciative of the author's efforts.**

**By in large though, there is a significant group of people who read and alert but never review, or who review with basic demands for more work, never once acknowledging the work which has just been posted. I personally find reviews which just say "UPDATE NOW!" extremely rude. It takes so much longer to write a chapter than to read it and bombarding authors with demands for updates generally shows a lack of understanding of the process.**

**Outside this board and the fictional world we write about it's the real world. The authors here are real people with real lives. It may surprise you to know that many of the authors you read and take for granted are dealing with major difficulties in real life; many health related, some not. The least readers can do is acknowledge the effort and appreciate that if a story is slow in being updated then there is a reason. If a story isn't updated or is left incomplete it might be disappointing but it is not end of the world stuff. **

**And for those who review anonymously to slam the story, the author, or to criticise in a manner which is destructive, I ask you to reconsider. If you don't like the story, the author's style, etc. PLEASE don't read. Reviews don't have to be all hearts and flowers but they should be constructive ... I'll agree there are stories out there that are really below standard, I don't like so I don't read, but you should be prepared to sign your name to anything you write. Doing it anonymously is a cowardly way of attacking someone who has no recourse ... if you have something to say own it ... by not signing it, you are acknowledging you know what you are submitting is inappropriate.**

**One of my reasons for my break is because I'm not enjoying writing here like I should. This is a hobby for me and the only person I am obligated to is me. I'm sure I'll get a whole lot of responses to this AN which won't even mention the story itself ... and I don't want that. If you have read through all thirteen chapters, before all of this, I would sincerely like to know what you thought. **

**So, that's it from me, nothing else to say,**

**stay safe**

**love Nettie**


End file.
